We are peering into the not-so-distant future to imagine what the brand geniuses of the future will be serving up for discerning water consumers!
The Brand: Ogallala
Source: Great Plains
Why? Deep down, you know you love it. Read more
California is facing its worst water shortage in decades. This is somewhat funny, both “curious-funny” and “ha-ha funny” because the state’s severest drought in modern history gives us an excuse to unleash some lame Cali-focused “It’s so dry…” jokes.
California’s so dry…that leaks are the new status symbol.
California’s so dry…the fastest growing crime is employee theft… by pool boys.
California’s so dry…a sprinkler store opened on Rodeo Drive (and have you seen those Prada canteens?!) Read more
We always appreciate effervescent, fluid prose so our hats are off to Kevin Murphy of the Winona (Wisconsin) Daily News for this splashy headline:
Dirty water politics side note: Kevin also reports that “The higher rates may also determine if the city’s only laundromat stays in business.”
To paraphrase Mark Twain, I didn’t attend this funeral, but I’d like to send this nice note to say I approve of it!
This item from the June 13, 1949 issue of LIFE magazine covers the charming, oddball funeral/celebration for one of Saginaw, Michigan’s ubiquitous community water pumps, finally “put to rest” in favor of an efficient new pipeline. Read more
Hooray, it’s water’s very own special day! Last year I spent it ranting and whining, but this year we’re sporting a whole new attitude! While some busy themselves playing the bureaucratic global water game, here in suburbia we’re going all-in for party games. Happy World Water Day, please enjoy not one but TWO tasteless Mad Libs that you and your friends can enjoy… whether you’re pinky-pointing at an intimate WWD pre-gala gathering, grinding through another mind-numbing nine-to-fiver, or taking a breather during your daily 5-hour water fetching duty. Read more
When nature calls, what do you call it, that place you go for going? If you go to the place pictured here, you can choose your preferred term from a nice assortment of colorful toilet terms. Gender-neutral, too! I spotted this outdoor restroom at the rear of a restaurant in historic Boulder City, Nevada. It was so amusing I was able put aside any nagging concerns about sanitation and cleanliness.
And filed under Didn’t Know That! … apparently Shi-Shi is Hawaiian slang, pronounced “shee shee” and meaning “to pass urine or use the bathroom.”
A Texas* Department of Water representative pulled up to a sprawling ranch and approached the leery old ranch owner. In a haughty, authoritative voice he announced to the rancher, “I need total access to this place to inspect for water allocation compliance.”
The old rancher paused and then said, “Well, OK then. But don’t go in that field over there.”
The Water representative pulled out his ID card and growled, “Mister, I have the full authority of the great state of Texas with me. You see this card? This card means I am allowed to go wherever I wish on any agricultural land, including anywhere on your place. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”
The old rancher shrugged his shoulders but said nothing. He then nodded politely, and went about his work.
A short time later, the old rancher heard a commotion and bellowing, loud screams and turned to see the Water Rep running for the gate, followed closely by three huge, angry bulls. The bulls’ thundering hooves were gaining on the Water Rep with every step.
The old rancher immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out to the terrified Water Rep,
“Your card! Show ’em your card!”
*replace with the name of any state befitting your own personal bias or animus!
If you’re up for even more hokey water-related humor, get a life! Or, try…
Four Corny Water Jokes
Water and Drought Jokes: How Dry Is It?
Water Joke: Go Fish with the Blondes
Water Joke: Little Johnny Talks Water Quality
Have we got a treat for you! With Halloween just two weeks off, you may be nearing a costume-ready state, but we believe your costume should reflect who you really are. If you’re an obsessed water, wastewater or sanitation wonk, consider these costume ideas that just SCREAM your love of all things water!
(Need more ideas? Check out the 2009 post Halloween Costumes for the Water Obsessed and 2010 Version: Halloween Costumes for the Water Obsessed)
Water Molecule Costume: Better than the sum of its particles! Plus, even the most atrocious dancers can wear this costume and defend their less-than-smooth moves by declaring, “Wooo Hooo, I am boiling now!” (Original source here)
When engineers and technical writers tackle instructions for public toilets, someone may have to step up and provide some plain-language, every-man translations!
Up for pee, down for poop. Simple! Spotted in a highway rest stop, kudos to the anonymous, water-aware doo-gooder that added the simplified Sharpie version to the dual flush toilet instructions provided.
Note to technical types: if your toilet how-to needs a schematic drawing, the instructions likely need editing!
Note to everyone else: An easy mnemonic for these devices: remember to PUSH for number 2! And the handle as well!
Happy July 4th from Kansas, where farming is still as vital to our lives and livelihoods as it was for Americans 236 years ago. Spiraling and viraling it’s way around the internet is this great parody music video from the Peterson Brothers of Kansas. “I’m Farming and I Grow It” is a catchy take-off on LMFAO’s Sexy and I Know It.
What I want you to know, though, is that it includes a nod to agriculture’s most important resource, water. Below, ThirstyInSuburbia helps you skip right to the good water part at 2:15. Read more