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Real News: Spurring Weed growth with Water

Did you ever experience an “Onion Fear” moment? When you suspect you’ve been humiliated and hoodwinked by a “news” story that’s actually a journo-joke straight from The Onion?

Onion-fear struck by the forth paragraph as I read this item:

WEED WATER FOUNTAIN SCULPTURE UNVEILED

The water fountain sculpture unveiled Thursday on Weed’s Main Street is the latest installment in a beautification project that is changing the face of the city.

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“New” Edible Water Bottle: Been there, done that in 2010!

Isn’t parody supposed to follow reality? Nah, in our modern internetted world, that’s just another old-timey rule we can toss out!

ediblewaterbottle

Case in point: my internetted world is aflame this past week with news of an innovative, new edible water bottle…an interesting, and apparently award-winning idea! And one that we parodied here for April Fools Day in 2010! You could say the parody beat the reality by a full 4 years! In the end, though, the joke is on us… for failing to envision the obvious opportunity in TossNot and not properly patenting  and protecting this now-awesome idea.

I still believe we did it better, though. (OoHo, feel free to give us a call for some branding and packaging tips. No one knows how to prounounce “OoHo” and that blobby package looks exceedingly creepy – like a unicorn’s egg sac.)

Sigh. Can’t anyone take a joke these days?

tossnot world first edible water bottle
TossNot: The World First Edible Water Bottle!

Funeral for a Friend: Buried Water Infrastructure in 1949

To paraphrase Mark Twain, I didn’t attend this funeral, but I’d like to send this nice note to say I approve of it!

saginaw michigan MI water pump funeral 1949This item from the June 13, 1949 issue of LIFE magazine covers the charming, oddball funeral/celebration for one of Saginaw, Michigan’s ubiquitous community water pumps, finally “put to rest” in favor of an efficient new pipeline. Read more

revolution water cycle video thumbnail

Pop-ups, Paper Cuts and the Water Cycle

revolution water cycle video thumbnailYet another graphic interpretation of the water cycle? Yes, but this one’s truly special. Revolution is a stop-motion animated pop-up book by Chris Turner, Helen Friel and Jess Deacon that illustrates the familiar travels of a water drop with an uncommon aesthetic approach.

It’s a short one minute and forty-five seconds in length, but long on the tenacity and skill needed to create it – see for yourself on the companion “Making of Revolution” video. (My hands felt sticky just watching it!)

 

Another Corny Water Joke: The Texan Inspection

A Texas* Department of Water representative pulled up to a sprawling ranch and approached the leery old ranch owner. In a haughty, authoritative voice he announced to the rancher, “I need total access to this place to inspect for water allocation compliance.”

texas water inspector jokeThe old rancher paused and then said, “Well, OK then. But don’t go in that field over there.”

The Water representative pulled out his ID card and growled, “Mister, I have the full authority of the great state of Texas with me. You see this card? This card means I am allowed to go wherever I wish on any agricultural land, including anywhere on your place. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”

The old rancher shrugged his shoulders but said nothing. He then nodded politely, and went about his work.

A short time later, the old rancher heard a commotion and bellowing, loud screams and turned to see the Water Rep running for the gate, followed closely by three huge, angry bulls. The bulls’ thundering hooves were gaining on the Water Rep with every step.

The old rancher immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out to the terrified Water Rep,

“Your card! Show ’em your card!”

*replace with the name of any state befitting your own personal bias or animus!


If you’re up for even more hokey water-related humor, get a life! Or, try…

Four Corny Water Jokes
Water and Drought Jokes: How Dry Is It?
Water Joke: Go Fish with the Blondes
Water Joke: Little Johnny Talks Water Quality

Halloween Costumes for Water and WASH Wonks: 2012 edition

Have we got a treat for you! With Halloween just two weeks off, you may be nearing a costume-ready state, but we believe your costume should reflect who you really are. If you’re an obsessed water, wastewater or sanitation wonk, consider these costume ideas that just SCREAM your love of all things water!

(Need more ideas? Check out the 2009 post Halloween Costumes for the Water Obsessed and 2010 Version: Halloween Costumes for the Water Obsessed)


Water Molecule Costume: Better than the sum of its particles! Plus, even the most atrocious dancers can wear this costume and defend their less-than-smooth moves by declaring, “Wooo Hooo, I am boiling now!” (Original source here)

water molecule halloween costume

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Promoting plain language in public toilets

dual flush public toiletWhen engineers and technical writers tackle instructions for public toilets, someone may have to step up and provide some plain-language, every-man translations!

Up for pee, down for poop. Simple! Spotted in a highway rest stop, kudos to the anonymous, water-aware doo-gooder that added the simplified Sharpie version to the dual flush toilet instructions provided.

Note to technical types: if your toilet how-to needs a schematic drawing, the instructions likely need editing!

Note to everyone else: An easy mnemonic for these devices: remember to PUSH for number 2! And the handle as well!

sign graffiti on dual flush public toilet