“Solution” is one of the most beloved classic cartoons from Toothpaste for Dinner, which has tagged itself as “the most addictive comic on the web.” There might be some teeth to that claim; myself, I’ve barely missed a day in over four years. (You can get “Solution” and other popular Toothpaste for Dinner comics on T-shirts and other merch via the site.)
Yea, marketing! With a strategic sleight of hand, we can plaster a new name over something less pleasant and magically change everyones’ perceptions! Los Angeles is on to this trick, as noted in this story from Reuters on how the water crisis is forcing the issue of reuse in Los Angeles as the situation intensifies. The article notes,
Just don’t call it “toilet-to-tap.”
County officials prefer the term “Groundwater Replenishment System,” a name chosen after similar projects in Los Angeles and San Diego fell prey to public misconceptions, also known as the “yuck” factor,” and local election-year politics.
Their experience underscores one of the great lessons facing municipal officials across the U.S. West as they seek to bring purification and recycling technologies to bear against drought cycles expected to worsen with climate change.
The ideas are flowing! SiouxArTesian? Trader Joes, here we come! ReAgua? Let’s all join in the fun! You, too, can create your own re-branded, re-positioned “groundwater replenishment” product. Just go to The Soft Drink Generator, an interactive distraction where you can build your very own bottle from the groundwater up.
Two Japanese favorites–Hello Kitty and bottled water–combine in a tacky package that’s sure to appeal to pre-teens and pervs alike. From the set Japan 2009 by Erika Ray on Flickr.
The Broadway musical Big River was based on The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, and won a Tony Award for Best Musical in 1985. (If one of the too-infrequent revival productions stops in your town, don’t miss it!)
The exuberant song Muddy River comes in Act One, when Huck offers to help Jim reach the North and gain freedom from slavery. With a posse in hot pursuit, they shove off on their raft onto the mighty Mississippi.
Lyrics:
Look out for me, oh muddy water
your mysteries are deep and wide
and I got a need for going someplace
and I got a need to climb upon your back and ride
Play the track
[audio:http://thirstyinsuburbia.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/08-muddy-water.mp3]
Download Muddy Water – Big River: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Low-fi 64 kbps Mp3 file for sampling.
Like it? Support the people who make music. Buy this track at iTunes or Amazon.com
Water Tower Conspiracy? In a skittish economy, people are nervous and on edge. Even a vanished logo can lead to frenetic speculation and questions: From the LaGrange (Georgia) News March 6, 2009, this story on the case of the missing-in-action Kia water tower logo.
Snuff of the Sea: The last time I had sea water forced deep into my nasal passages, I ran crying down the beach to my Mommy. But now, with Afrin® Pure Sea™ I can purchase the experience and recreate that feeling of terror anytime I like! Unpleasant? Buck up, the company assures us it’s healthy, “isotonic” and good for us! Other sources tip us off that the “pure sea” source is actually the English Channel!)
More Revenge at the Mini-Bar: Commenting on a Flickr photo of a $5 bottle of hotel water provided “for your convenience,” Flickr-er resaemt1 admits, ” Thats how much the little bottle of Fuji water was in Cali. I drank one cuz I was SO thirsty so we went to the gas station & bought another one that was only like 1.50 & replaced it. LOL.”
Economic meltdown or not, progress shall continue unabated in the push for more technologically advanced Japanese toys. “Aqua Dance” from Bandai uses nanotechnology to create a special coating that makes water droplets take on mercury-like qualities. (From Crave on Cnet News.)
Using the same nanotech coating, “Aqua Drop,” also from Bandai, replaces those noisy, low-tech metal-ball choking-hazards of yesteryear. And by all reports, the new high-tech version is as frustrating as its predecessors. U.S. $27 from www.japantrendshop.com.
I hate to complain about such cutesy oddities, but this is a disappointing outcome; weren’t we led to believe we’d have lotus-leaf-inspiried self-cleaning bathtubs by now?
Taste: recent research conducted both in the U.S. and Europe has repeatedly shown that taste (along with safety and convenience) is a leading motivator for the use of tap water alternatives. But tastes like what, exactly? To find out, we’ve done some exclusive research of our own.
Because Thirsty in Suburbia has zero qualifications or credentials to conduct sound, serious research, this “study” is absolutely non-scientific. Plus, since our stimulus check bounced we’re unfunded too!
Never mind, we will press on. Presenting the Google-based Virtual Water Taste Focus Group.
Methodology: In February, 2009 the exact phrase “our water tastes like” was entered into Google Search. 35 total results were returned and 6 were disqualified for syntax, leaving 29 “participants.” (♪ ♫ Don’t know much about science books ♫, but do know our way around Illustrator–so we’ve made a snazzy chart for you!)
1. our water tastes like chlorine
2. Our water tastes like pure and delicious water
3. our water tastes like dirt.
4. Our water tastes like water
5. Our water tastes like the premier bottled drinking water it is
6. our water tastes like shiat
7. our water tastes like dirt
8. our water tastes like tap water
9. our water tastes like dirt
10. Our water tastes like sulphur
11. our water tastes like lake water
12. our water tastes like crap
13. our water tastes like nectar from the tap
14. Our water tastes like the chlorine from a swimming pool.
15. our water tastes like bleach
16. our water tastes like algae
17. our water tastes like chlorine
18. our water tastes like horse s**t
19. our water tastes like it was strained through an ashtray
20. our water tastes like chemicals from new pipes
21. OUR WATER TASTES LIKE SHIT
22. our water tastes like someone dissolved a nickel in it
23. Our water tastes like butt
24. Our water tastes like disinfectant
25. our water tastes like carrots
26. our water tastes like a swimming pool
27. our water tastes like something George Washington himself might take a sip of and die from
28. our water tastes like liquid gold
29. our water tastes like golden nectar
Boston.com’s “The Big Picture” has gained a devoted following for its dramatic, superb photography presented thematically, somewhat like a digital version of the much-missed Life magazine. The Big Picture feature on Robots included this photo by Cherie A. Thurlby for the Department of Defense. The photo depicts,
“An Explosive Ordinance Disposal robot places an explosive device next to a suspicious package during a demonstration conducted by members of the Special Operations Command Central Command Explosive Ordinance Disposal Unit for participants of the Joint Civilian Orientation Conference 72, at Camp Lemonier, Djibouti, Oct. 21, 2006.”
But wait a minute, we’re having a closer look at that “suspicious package” and of course we notice something of particular interest to us…that Emirates bottled water must be da bomb! (I should mention that you’ll never have to call a bomb squad to detonate your tap. At least I hope not.)
Classic old cowboy tune about hallucinating in the desert. (FYI–the “Dan” in this song is our lone hero’s mule!) Cool Water was written in 1936 by Bob Nolan and has been covered by dozens of artists, including Hank Williams, Marty Robbins, Slim Whitman, Bob Dylan, even the Muppets! This version is from 1982 by Fleetwood Mac.
Lyrics:
The shadows sway and seem to say
tonight we pray for water,
Cool water.
And way up there He’ll hear our prayer
and show us where there’s water,
Cool, clear water.
Play the track
Download Cool Water – Fleetwood Mac
Low-fi 64 kbps Mp3 file for sampling.
(Sorry, no purchase links–this track not found at iTunes, Amazon.com or other sources.)
We might love our tap water, but that’s not to stop or slow the relentless bottled water branders from absconding with the power of love to move the water and the wallets.
While I was in California in January, I picked up this interesting number in a organic food store near Carmel. The brand is “Aquamantra” (here, in the convenient “Mini-Mantra” size) and the concept seems to involve invoking positive self-talk while drinking the water for a spiritually uplifting experience. And a solitary experience, too, given the high probability for public ridicule. (It’s water for Stuart Smalley! “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, I am Loved! glug glug.”)
If that’s too intense for you, just go for this straight-up approach that bridges the language barrier with the language of love, seen in Vietnam and shared by silveroses69 on Flickr. Lovely!
