Hello, Kitty – My, How You’ve Grown!

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Two Japanese favorites–Hello Kitty and bottled water–combine in a tacky package that’s sure to appeal to pre-teens and pervs alike. From the set Japan 2009 by Erika Ray on Flickr.

Advanced Technology Building Better Water Toys?

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Economic meltdown or not, progress shall continue unabated in the push for more technologically advanced Japanese toys. “Aqua Dance” from Bandai uses nanotechnology to create a special coating that makes water droplets take on mercury-like qualities. (From Crave on Cnet News.)

Using the same nanotech coating, “Aqua Drop,” also from Bandai, replaces those noisy, low-tech metal-ball choking-hazards of yesteryear. And by all reports, the new high-tech version is as frustrating as its predecessors. U.S. $27 from www.japantrendshop.com.

I hate to complain about such cutesy oddities, but this is a disappointing outcome; weren’t we led to believe we’d have lotus-leaf-inspiried self-cleaning bathtubs by now?

It’s Spring, and Water Marketers Send Their Love

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We might love our tap water, but that’s not to stop or slow the relentless bottled water branders from absconding with the power of love to move the water and the wallets.

While I was in California in January, I picked up this interesting number in a organic food store near Carmel. The brand is “Aquamantra” (here, in the convenient “Mini-Mantra” size) and the concept seems to involve invoking positive self-talk while drinking the water for a spiritually uplifting experience. And a solitary experience, too, given the high probability for public ridicule. (It’s water for Stuart Smalley! “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, I am Loved! glug glug.”)

If that’s too intense for you, just go for this straight-up approach that bridges the language barrier with the language of love, seen in Vietnam and shared by silveroses69 on Flickr. Lovely!

Go Gross: Winning Hearts & Minds with Yuck Appeal

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One sixth of the world, no access to clean water. 2 million people, dead of waterborne diseases. Every year. Year after year.

Blah blah. Why doesn’t everyone get it? Why are relatively few taking action? Well, we marketing-types live and die by a basic tenet: make your message relevant to the audience, their lives, their world, or risk being ignored. So, Western-worlders, we’ll help you relate better by viscerally putting skanky water into your world! This one, from Wordvision, had me running through the house, slightly nauseated, yelling “WHERE IS MY CHECKBOOK, I NEED IT NOW!” Now that’s persuasive marketing. From www.worldvision.org.uk/water,

In our world we have easy access to toilets. Supposed we take those toilets out of your world? Say, in your favorite 4-star? You can almost smell this spot, and I don’t mean the food. From www.wateraid.org,

Earlier this month, Bill Gates released a container of mosquitoes at the elite TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) Conference to make his point about disease and malaria. Now that’s relevancy to audience! “I brought some. Here I’ll let them roam around,” he told the big-shot gathering. “There is no reason only poor people should be infected.” (He waited several minutes before assuring everyone the roaming insects were malaria-free.)

Heavy water or light alcohol?

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With so many marketing short-cut brand extensions out there, extensions between bottled water and other estabished beverage brands is a natural, but Pabst Blue Ribbon water is a concept I can’t quite fathom. Flickr user oldtasty picked this one up in Jingdezhen, China and reports it’s “definitely better tasting than the beer from which the brand name was appropriated.”  

Then, there’s Smirnoff Source. I’ll bet the concept looked white-hot on all the MBA’s powerpoints, but premium bottled water with alcohol never quite caught fire in the U.S. In the summer of 2007, celebs (like the oft intoxicated Paula Abdul) were seen swigging Smirnoff Source, a premium malt beverage with 3.5 percent alcohol.  It was marketed as an ultra-premium alternative to light beer, which likely looked good on paper, but ultimately idiotic on TMZ.

Why bother when we already have alcoholic water–it’s called Vodka. Oddly enough, the satire about the product actually preceded the product itself. As seen two years ago at http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007/01/09/ad-wizards-official-vodka-of-the-lohanvolution/

Keepsake Water for the Holidays

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Available now at Sams Club, Merry Christmas Keepsake Water in 3 festive designs. These feature hand-applied crystals! And according to the website, “makes a delightful decoration for the holiday season for home or office. A perfect keepsake for years to come.”  At $19.88 each, this water spills out at about 79 cents an ounce…a precious keepsake, indeed!

It’s pure hell in the bottled water biz

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The bottled water industry is mad as hell and is not going to take it anymore. The Independent (UK) features a detailed story by Martin Hickman on their strategy for stopping the sales slide: Troubled waters: Why we fell out of love with bottled water (and how the industry plans to win us back)

Among the huge amount of information in the article is this tidbit:

Admittedly, carbon labelling is in its infancy, but the work done so far suggests that other soft drinks have a carbon footprint up to 10 times higher than bottled water. Danone, which has lightweighted its bottles and uses the train in France, calculates that production of one litre of Evian emits 198 grams of carbon dioxide.

When Tesco checked the Co2 of its orange juice, it found a litre cost 1,040 grams. Even the environmentally friendly Adnams brewery in Suffolk cannot reduce the Co2 of its East Green bitter below 864 grams.

CLIMATE CHANGE (Co2 per litre)

Tap water …….. 0.2 grams
Bottled water ……… 198 grams
Smoothie ……… 686 grams
Beer ……… 864 grams
Orange juice ……… 1,040 grams

Oh my, could it be we’re seeing a pattern? It’s not clean, healthy bottled water, but alcohol, that is the real villian in this story! And OJ is the real killer, after all!

Old price points get smashed

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The (UK) Times Online reports today,

Supermarkets selling alcohol cheaper than water

Research has found that it costs less to quench your thirst with alcohol than bottled water at leading supermarkets. Discounted own-brand alcohol is sold for as little as 23p per can, according to the drink and drug charity Addaction. This research comes on the eve of Government plans to tackle binge drinking.

I wonder where this product fits in the value proposition?

Does this mean that water is ridiculously expensive or that booze is incredibly cheap? Well, both. Competition among shops and supermarkets has led to alcohol prices that average 8% less than the recommended retail price. Some items, especially generic “value brands” are as much as 40% below retail. And, the research found that when alcohol is considered as a proportion of income, it is almost 70% more affordable today than it was 1980.

So go ahead and cry in your beer, just don’t weep in the water.

Keeping abreast of water marketing trends

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Spotted in Adelaide, South Australia, this Mount Franklin bottled water billboard is from a campaign supporting breast cancer awareness with a “limited edition” bottle. It sports the line, “Every mouthful helps raise awareness for breast cancer research.” Yes, isn’t cancer sexy! The creators of this campaign are clever but crass.

Thanks, flickr-er photog Janet Leadbeater.