Tag Archive for: Water

Dr. Kay Ninewater Solves Twitter Pet-Frets

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Important information for dog owners! Editorial Note: Today we’re honored to have Dr. Kay Ninewater, Suburbia’s noted dog hydration expert, to address some of the pressing concerns voiced in the Twitter-verse on what our dogs want and need, water-wise.

First, a comment not from an owner, but directly from the apparently twittering pet:

Luna, apparently you’ve drank just plain old tap water or perhaps a convenient puddle. The Doctor suggests you switch to Pet Sweat, your very own version of the popular Asian brand, Pocari Sweat. Out the door, out the pores, no more on the floor! Let your owner know asap. –Kay

Kelsey, your puppy has a picky palette and you should pop for the premium. Perhaps you are aware of Fortifido bottled water, but did you know it’s also available in a parsley flavor? Water is not only life for your pet, it’s the spice of life! (Break out your wallet and don’t imagine you’ll find it for 50 cents; It’s on sale in this photo.) –Kay

Well, Dan, I’m glad I wasn’t there to watch your poor pet suffering as he desperately struggled to rehydrate with nothing but basic tap water. You’ll need to stock up on PetRefresh, as it’s specially designed to…well, refresh pets. Does your tap water come with this brand promise? No, I didn’t think so. –Kay

Gus, the Doctor doesn’t like your party-pooch attitude. I’ll bet a switch to Dogua will get you back on track, because it provides “essential vitamins, minerals and nutrients for increased strength, endurance and an enhanced mental state of mind.” And, it has natural peanut butter flavoring, too, which will certainly squelch your boredom. (From www.allnaturaldogua.com)
 –Kay

Mrs. Cash, wake up, your dog is trying to bond with you! This positive behavior is well documented by dog psychologists and is known as cross-species backwash socialization. Encourage your pet’s natural instincts with a communal drinking vessel like the Cool Pooch. –Kay

Yes, Witch22, man’s best friend can produce life’s worst mouth-odor if you serve him water straight from your tap, which is loaded with god-knows-what sort of smell-inducing impurities. You can keep holding your breath and save a few cents, or you can start serving your blameless companion Dog Whisper, which contains a delightful hint of spearmint. Pee Yew? It’s entirely up to you. –Kay

The Cardinals? And plastic, at that?! Jerry, proper pet care involves teaching socially acceptable behavior as well as providing basic sustenance. If you want your dog to act like a princess rather than a spoiled brat, you should be serving her water (bottled, please!) in a fine lead crystal bowl like this lovely one from Table & Home. (Don’t be put off by the ‘lead,’ it’s not the dangerous kind, it’s the pretty kind!) It is your responsibility to model behavior that’s class, not crass. –Kay

Thanks to these contributing photographers!

Cool Pooch doggy water bottle by paulhinks on Flickr

Fortifido Parsley by jemal on Flickr

Pet Sweat from www.gigglesugar.com

Dog Whisper water from adamrice on Flickr

Invasion of the Water Pods

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Not being the outdoorsy type, I’m probably not the best judge of the relative benefits of these drop-shaped tree-hanging tents. But what a look! The freaky, alien-visitor effect might be worth any trade-offs involved with a hanging campsite. (As a former reluctant girl scout camper, I can say this holds promise in eliminating that cold, clammy ambience of ground-based tents!)

Hmmm. Do you think that upon pulling up camp one would have to cram this back into a too-small bottle-shaped tent bag? That I’d like to see!

From www.inhabitat.com,

Sylvan housing reaches new heights with these wonderful dewdrop shaped Treetents by Dutch sculptor and designer Dré Wapenaar. Originally designed to ease the lives of tree-sitting activists, they also make excellent treetop retreats for campers, kids, and anyone soothed by an evening spent softly swaying among the branches. Each beautifully formed droplet attaches directly to a tree trunk and is roomy enough to sleep a family of four.

Profits are Up for Ypsilanti Water Tower Photog

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The unusual design of the Ypsilanti, Michigan Water Tower has sparked many a debate since it was erected (ha ha) in 1889. While the tower is a historic landmark, city officials bristle at the mention of its giggle-inducing architecture.

Enter Ann Arbor photographer, Shela Palkoski (shown here posing near the  tower). She has made entrepreneurial hay by re-interpreting the old joke with a bad-taste postcard which has sold thousands of copies in the past two years. In a July, 2007 story on blog.mlive.com, she says,

“I used to live across the street from the water tower and had to walk past it,” said Palkoski, who works under the name Miss SheLa. “I figure I’ve had a vision of that image for about five years, and I thought, ‘I’ve gotta do it before someone else does.'”

The cards show the legs of a woman in a short skirt, high heels and fishnet stockings standing over the tower. And the image has city leaders struggling to find a diplomatic way to react to the innuendo.

“The water tower has a historic marker,” said Mayor Paul Schreiber. “And it’s a very interesting thing if you look at the stonework.

OK, Mr. Mayor, you’ve got a point, but it’s hard, you know?

Here’s the text from the tower’s historical marker:

Day laborers constructed this water tower which was completed in 1890 at a cost of $21,435.63. The tower and the city waterworks supplied 471 customers in the first year. An ordinance passed on April 14, 1898 established a yearly rate schedule. Rates were based on the number of faucets in use, the type of business that customers operated and the livestock they owned. A residence with one tap was charged $5.00; a private bathtub cost an extra $2.00. Saloon keepers paid $7.00 for one faucet, $3.00 for each additional faucet and $1.00 for each billiard table. Each cow a person owned cost $1.00. People who failed to pay their bill were subject to a $50.00 fine and ninety days in the county jail. Until 1956 this structure was the only water tower in the Ypsilanti water system.

Not Thirsty

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Water is life, yes. And hopefully, that entails something more than just moving around and breathing. Happy Easter, with greatest respect to all our friends of all every belief.

Slick! 8-bit Waterslide in Real Life

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There’s so many things to love about this quirky animation that I won’t even attempt to list them, just enjoy! This made me laugh out loud and is many levels better than the ad. (Ad? What ad? See notes below…)

This crazy creation was the winner of a video contest from Barclaycard to promote their new waterslide-themed ad (!). If you haven’t seen the ad (and in America, you haven’t) here it is on YouTube). It features a business-guy who strips down to his skivvies to commute home via waterslide, easily spending money all along the way with his “slideless” card.

As the contest winner, tea&cheese gets to choose between a global watersliding tour to five of the world’s wildest waterslides or £10,000 cold cash.

Road Rules: Help with Highway Hydration

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No wonder folks are confused! Following, some snapshots from my recent road trip from Kansas City to Chicago. Certainly, more information is better than less but I REALLY want to know…WHO, for example, would fill their water bottles from an oil and gas-splattered spigot at a fuel pump?

We spotted this at a gas station in Don’t-Know-Where, Missouri. In this town I concede that if you are parched, it is OK to bend the rules a little and head inside the C-Store for some bottled water.

Similarly, travelers are advised not to quench their thirst from a crumbling island in a remote Iowa rest stop. (I think the top sign must mean that RV’s should sink their lines and extract some fresh ground water instead. Oops, I meant groundwater.)

At another Iowa rest stop, though, this helpful signage points thirsty people to the bathrooms. (I might add that there were NO helpful signs on the toilets, like these, to dissuade people who might confuse the loos with the promised fountains.)

And at the Chicago IKEA (Bolingbrook, IL), helpful instructions in this bathroom floor display. This sent my imagination flying – there must be experiential reasons for this sign to exist, and I’ll bet some IKEA employees have some troubling stories to tell on why the sign is critical. (The stiffer acetate sheet used here has given me an idea on how to implement a 2010 technical improvement on the April Fools Day Toilet trick!)

You Know You’ve “Made It” If You’re Glacier Bathing

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And you’re 100% right, I do! (Should I be worried that I’m gaining a reputation for ridiculous water ideas?)

The tinyurl points to Trendhunter.com:

Forget about drinking bottled water—now you can bathe in it! Based on the 10 Thousand BC brand of fine imported water, Glacier Bath hails from the Coastal Glacier Range in British Columbia, Canada. It can be shipped in bulk to “health-conscious and environmentally-aware high-end urbane sophisticates.”

And if bathing in ancient glaciers is aimed at “high-end urbane sophisticates” there’s bound to be an insane press release somewhere, right? And here it is! You can suffer the entire release below, but following are my favorite pee-are highlights!

…Luxury Water Utilities, LLC, a California-based sustainable water resources service company…
When life hands you climate change, make glacier-ade!

…Glacier Bath™ system — an environmentally friendly hydration service…
I think they mean “friendly” in the Facebook sense.

…premium glacier water. Locked in an icy vault for over 10,000 years…
Hello, do you have Sir Glacier in a can? Well let him out!!!

Glacier water is superior to common water sources, because it is not filtered through the ground where a variety of dissolved solids and organic particles such as rocks, sand, metals, chemicals and underground pollutants can attach to each water molecule.
I’m trying to imagine a rock attached to a molecule.

…fine waters from rare water sources from around the world that are guaranteed 100% natural in composition…
That is, guaranteed to be two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen.

Fine Water Imports Inc., headquartered in Las Vegas, Nevada,
I should have guessed! It’s the global center of water sustainability!

Following, the entire tortured text:

Glacier Bath– The Perfect Balance Between Luxury and Health!
MARINA DEL RAY, CA–(Marketwire – June 4, 2008) – Luxury Water Utilities, LLC, a California-based sustainable water resources service company, in association with Source Glacier Beverage Company, Ltd. and Fine Water Imports, Inc., announces the global launch of the exclusive Glacier Bath™ system — an environmentally friendly hydration service designed to integrate high-end luxury homes, residences and suites with premium glacier water. Locked in an icy vault for over 10,000 years, the sub-Arctic ranges in beautiful British Columbia, Canada, and carefully retrieved from the rapid descending flow of melted glacier ice, this pure protected under-melt is the most natural ancient source of water in the world.

Glacier Bath™ offers luxury connoisseurs the opportunity to control and choose their own water source for their primary hydration needs. We offer a rear water source that is free of contaminants, naturally oxygenated and rich in natural ionic content. Glacier water is superior to common water sources, because it is not filtered through the ground where a variety of dissolved solids and organic particles such as rocks, sand, metals, chemicals and underground pollutants can attach to each water molecule. It is essentially an exclusive worry-free water source — clear of heavy chemicals, drug residues, jet fuel, toxins, dust particulates, etc. — unlocked from glaciers that are over 10,000 years old. Not only will our clients be able to drink and bathe in this premium untainted water, they can also breathe indoor air that is hydrated or humidified with pollution-free water. The water is naturally soft at 1.08 grains of hardness — no water softer needed — and there is no sodium in the water, unlike desalinization which has high sodium contents.

This exclusive water service is for the sophisticated consumer that desires the constant benefits of natural spa living while balancing the demands of corporate and business engagements within metropolitan environments. “It is a privilege to be able to offer our luxury clients around the world, the ability to create an oasis of relaxation and calm in a stressful, toxic world within their very estates,” says Andrea Bates, Vice President of Source Glacier Beverage Company.

Glacier Water, based upon the exclusive 10 Thousand BC™ brand and exclusively marketed by Fine Water Imports, Inc., embodies the essence of a new generation of luxury and elegance. The light, smooth and crisp taste of this premium glacier water can be enjoyed everywhere in your home, penthouse or apartment without a bottle!

Glacier Bath™ represents the nexus between luxury, comfort and peace of mind. Introducing this luxury service as a high-end real-estate amenity offers a personal and private retreat — a 21st Century solution for the health and environmentally conscious. Glacier Bath™ will transport and deliver the purest all-natural water, harnessed from pristine sub-Arctic environments, and supply suites and residences on a subscription basis, at a competitively matchless cost.

Lincoln Wentworth Lawson, Chairman of Luxury Water Utilities, LLC., stated: “We are very pleased to be partnered with Fine Water Imports, Inc. and Source Glacier Beverage Company, Ltd for the past few months. Our team is dedicated and focused on satisfying the needs of our high-end clients interested in a healthy lifestyle, without compromising comfort.”

Mr. Steve Stucker, President of Fine Water Imports Inc., stated: “We firmly believe this is a world first offering of its kind and we see only long-term value for our stakeholders as the world-wide exclusive company to market this rare water resource by both Luxury Water Utilities and Source Glacier Beverage Company.”

Fine Water Imports Inc., headquartered in Las Vegas, Nevada, is one of the world’s largest importers of premium fine waters. Importing only naturally pure, healthy, fine waters from rare water sources from around the world that are guaranteed 100% natural in composition and sourced from locations far away from man-made chemicals and pollutants. These fine waters once discovered are carefully tested, harvested, bottled, and packaged in environmentally friendly, fully recyclable glass and plastic, directly from earth and meet or surpass all federal water safety guidelines. Fine Water Imports Inc. (www.finewaterimports.com) is the exclusive marketing agent for 10 Thousand BC™, bulk water sales, a product of Source Glacier Beverage Company, Ltd., of Canada.

Water Nonsense into Water Good Sense

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Can an offensive, stupid ad campaign spark positive action and good deeds? Yes indeed, it’s all in a day’s work here in water blog-land. I recently posted this entry on WAT-AAH!, a bottled water brand aimed at brainless parents and their spoiled-senseless kids. Aquadoc at WaterWired picked up on the entry but with an important addition that I missed:

Sure, it’s better than caffeine-spiked, sugar-laden soda, but then again, 5W-30 motor oil is probably better, too. How about good ol’ tap water? … [snip] … give the money you save to a worthwhile cause like Peter Boddie’s The Kasiki Project.

http://www.kasiki.org/

http://www.kasiki.org/

WAT-AAH good idea! I’ve made a donation today, because it’s a wonderful cause AND it makes me feel like there’s at least one blessed reason for the despised WAT-TAH!!! to exist. Wouldn’t that make you feel good, too? Yes? So, go do it!

WAT-AAH Crock! Parents Completely Abandon Parenting

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We’re not into the rant-and-complain blog style around here, but this has got to be among the most annoying, grating campaigns and product positionings I’ve ever seen.

The ridiculously-named company Let Water Be Water, LLC is responsible for,

WAT-AAH!, the first sugar-free, functional water brand made specifically for kids by kids and their mothers.

Which is a contender for the single most preposterous statement in the history of PR flackery. (Thanks, fathers, for not participating in this.)

And if that’s not low enough, they shamelessly announce in this press release their “New WAT-AAH! Challenge…”

…to defy the expectation that kids will pick soda or juice over water. During the month of March, mothers who participate in the challenge will receive WAT-AAH! samples with instructions to put the bottled water in their fridge, alongside sodas and other sugary drinks. Mothers will be asked to write, photograph and videotape their kids’ responses and reactions to WAT-AAH!. “Challenge” participants and ongoing results are available at www.wat-aahchallenge.blogspot.com.
“We want to challenge the preconceived notions people have about kids and drinks,” says WAT-AAH!’s founder, Rose Cameron. “Our goal is to test the assumption that kids are addicted to sugar and think water is boring. We are confident that children will pick WAT-AAH! over the big guys with multi-million dollar beverage budgets and logos that believe they are ‘cool,’ and we invite moms everywhere to participate in this challenge.”

So, set up the fridge like this, parents! The little ones will pick the water every time, you’ll see! (The only thing this promotion proves is the lengths some people will go to get some free bottled water.)

Had enough? No? If you’re masochistic or in extreme-procrastination mode, you can visit their screechingly-bad website, filled with fingernails-on-the-blackboard declarations like “Be Supaah! Jump Highaah! Be Smart-aah!”

If all this fails, modern parents, try my method (with your kids’ permission, of course.) It’s been successfully road-tested on my three children and millions of others: “Soda? NO WAY-AHH. Here’s your tap WAT-AHH.”

h2o mp3: When the Water Rise Up: Max “Bunny” Sparber

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From his eclectic blog 50000000 Sparber Fans Can’t Be Wrong, the artist posts this song, noting “a re-recording of my song “When The Water Rise Up,” done as a sort of jug band gospel tune. With the Red River flooding, it seemed somehow appropriate.”

Thanks for that Mr. Sparber. Everything’s better with music, even a flood.

Lyrics:
When the levee bow, When the water rise up
When the water rise up, When the water rise up
Got no place to go, When the water rise up,
When the water rise up, When the water rise up

Play the track

[audio:http://thirstyinsuburbia.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/when-the-water-rise-up.mp3]

Download When the Water Rise Up – Max “Bunny” Sparber
128 kbps Mp3 file is also available as a free download at 50000000 Sparber Fans Can’t Be Wrong.

(If you like the track, say thanks on his blog or on twitter: http://twitter.com/maxsparber)