Tag Archive for: bottled water

Mysterious Fruits of Water: Yumberry

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Installment #3! The world’s most esoteric fruits are helping marketers de-commoditize bottled water with mysterious, value-added flavorings.

Here’s Vital Lifestyle Water, a product that jacks up your IQ and memory with a gentle hint of Yumberry! Yumberry is one of the up-and-comers of the “Superfruits.” “Superfruit” is a term coined by marketers (naturally!) that refers to high-antioxident, nutritionally-rich fruits that have an appealing taste.

Yumberry is actually commercial slang for the fruit of Myrica rubra, also called yangmei, yamamono and various types of bayberry and wax myrtle. It is native to eastern Asia, mainly China, where it has been grown for at least 2000 years. There are more than 100 varieties of yumberry including white, pink, red, and purple. (Usually the purple variety is considered the yummiest!)

And, modern-day marketers are pretty late to the party when extolling Yumberry’s health benefits. From www.yumberryjuice.com,

Adapting Yangmei to medication was firstly seen in Shi Liao Ben Cao, a herbal medicine book written by Meng Xian in Tang Dynasty (618 – 907 AD). According to the Compendium of Materia Medica, a herbal pharmacological masterpiece written by Li Shi Zhen, the greatest herbal pharmacologist in 16th century, Yangmei is able to “eliminate sputum, stop vomiting, helpful to digestion and alcoholic drinking, quench thirst, conciliate the five internal organs, cleanse stomach and intestines, remove the muddleheaded, and be efficacious to cure diarrhea”.

Only the Best Beverages for our Precious Poopsie!

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“Some people love it, some people hate it and think we’re mad but we just love our dogs,” Pets Palace spokeswoman Diane Costa said. “I don’t have children and my four dogs are like children to me so I don’t mind spending money on them.”

Yes, Dianne, we really do understand! But you should know that most of us would never buy our children water (or anything else I can think of) in a handmade, jewel-encrusted bottle!

Nevertheless, Australia’s Pets Palace now offers Bellaqua, a crystal-clear sparking natural mineral water just for pets.

Via news.com.au,

While are humans tightening belts during the credit crunch, it seems money is no object to certain favoured furry friends, The Daily Telegraph reports.

Sydney-based animal product company Pets Palace has launched a range of natural mineral water for dogs that’s more expensive that bottled water for humans.

And if you think crystal-jugged mineral water is where it ends at the Pet Palace, you’d be wrong.

Pets Palace sells, via the internet, dog joggers, lifejackets, pirate and skeleton costumes as well as sunglasses.

Ms Costa said she had spent more than $2000 on clothing for her dogs Lulu, Honey, Coco and Annie and would not think twice about food and water.

“Pets really are one of the family. We treat them and spoil them,” she said.

“It’s just as much fun to put a dog in a cute sweatshirt as it is a child so why not offer them a decent drink every now and then.

“As humans we drink bottled water and every now and then it feels good to give them bottle plus the bottles are cool.”

Bellaqua sells for $42.50 a box of four (that’s about $33 US).  For the less flashy pooches, there’s Pet Pop, available in colorful hues and flavors like Luscious Lulu, Lemon Lola, Betty Blu and Candy Pop, $22.95 for a box of four (US $17.50).

Aquamantra Gets Its Groove Back

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Remember Aquamantra, that deeply spiritual fluid that “resonates with the energy and frequency of your well-being?” That karma-in-a-bottle where “the quality of your thoughts determine the quality of your life and NOW your water?” From the company whose “purpose in creating this water is to Raise Consciousness in Humanity One Sip at a Time?”

I’m feeling better just writing that, but the negative energy emanating from that politically-incorrect plastic encasement is ruining the good vibe, so Aquamantra will be introducing their recyclable, biodegradable bottle this summer. It’s from “Phoenix, Arizona-based ENSO Bottles, LLC, which had developed a form of polyethylene terephthalate (PET) that appeared to be both recyclable and biodegradable within 1-5 years in microbial landfills, in either aerobic or anaerobic conditions.”

Ah, energy waves over me as a new mantra emerges, please repeat with me: I am profitable. I am profitable. I am profitable.

(For students of flackery: the glowing press release is here.)

Mysterious Fruits of Water: Marionberry

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Now that consumers have deduced that bottled-up tap water might not be their best buy, marketers have responded with value-added flavorings that ostensibly de-commoditize their products. Now, many esoteric fruits of the world are lending exclusivity to various brands.

Our Oregon friends will be offended to know that we thought that Twist Naturals with Marionberry might be a bottled water from Washington DC with a hint of crack cocaine!

Marionberries, from the blackberry family, are an iconic product of Oregon. They are named after Marion County where they were first grown, and were originally bred in 1956 at Oregon State University. 90% of  the world’s marionberries are grown in this area, and the state produces 28-33 million pounds annually.

In fact, www.oregongourmet.com offers a $39 “Marionberry Madness Gift Box” (which, madness aside, does NOT contain Twist Naturals water.)

Oh, back to this particular water. The package lists the ingredients as follows: Artesian Water, Pineapple Juice Concentrate, Natural Marionberry Flavor and Malic Acid. So why isn’t this Pineapple-Marionberry flavor? The label also carries a little bonus for the hipsters: “As in life, chill for best results.”

Related Post: Mysterious Fruits of Water: Dragonfruit

It’s Shit You Drink: Back-Alley Indian Water Bottlers

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We’re generally trusting souls over here in our U.S. ivory tower but elsewhere in the world, trust not when it comes to  your drinking water supply.

In the memorably titled story “It’s Shit You Drink in Bottled Water,” The Times of India Amedabad reports on widespread scamming there in the packaged water business with nauseating details that have us squirming here in suburbia. (This is nothing new in India.)

Laws governing packaged water from the Bureau of Indian Standards (BIS) are stringent and include requirements that every bottle cap be wrapped with a coloured plastic seal with batch number and date of manufacture. But law does not equal compliance and dozens of back-alley bottlers fake the ISI marks and seals on dirty bottles filled under filthy conditions.

(Hmmm. That Plywood Water seems a little less amusing.)

If that seems bad, you could have a look at something badder, like this photo by Engineers without Borders from Uganda, contrasting bottled water against a sample of the local drinking supply.

Before we get carried away bellyaching about the evils of bottled water, it’s helpful to have a look at this bagged drinking water from Ghana. I suppose this is slightly more enviro-friendly than bottles! But I highly doubt that those in Uganda lucky enough to have access to it are congratulating themselves on how green they are.

We Ivory Tower dwellers have much to be grateful for as we “celebrate” Drinking Water Week. Maybe now would be a good time for us count our blessings and cut a check to our favorite water charity.)


Bottled Water + Solar Power = Scare in the Air

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Nervous flyer? Then here’s another thing to worry about when you’re airborne: Is dangerous bottled water perched up in the cockpit, ready to ignite?

“Doomsday Jim,” this blog’s eyes and ears in OZ, tips us to this story. From the Courier Mail Queensland,

A bottle of water caused a fire in the cockpit of a Airbus A320 passenger aircraft as it was about to land at a Queensland airport.

According to an Australian Transport Safety Bureau report, the pilots were lining up on the runway when they smelled smoke last month.

It was coming from the cover of a log carried in the cockpit to record inflight defects in mechanical, navigation, electrical, hydraulic and radio equipment.

The incident was reported to the bureau, which investigated and concluded a water bottle was to blame.

“The sun was shining through a water bottle at the side of the cockpit,” the ATSB report said.

“The bottle was focusing the sunlight like a magnifying glass on the cover of the cabinet defect log, which began burning.”

One reason I love Australian news media is their mastery of the subtle-but-clever news story punch line. And in this story, it’s a winner!

The bureau did not say whether the water in the bottle was used to douse the fire.

Mysterious Fruits of Water: Dragonfruit

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Now that much of the public has deduced that bottled-up tap water might not be their best buy, marketers have responded with value-added flavorings that ostensibly de-commoditize their products. But of course, it’s still brutally competitive in the death-battle for shelf space and market share, so a ho-hum strawberry flavor is just not going to cut it.

So now we see many esoteric fruits of the world lending exclusivity to various bottled waters.

Here’s Organic Water Plus Vitamins with Dragonfruit and Kiwi. (There’s a got-it-all product for you!) I know what Kiwi is, but Dragonfruit? With the aid of appropedia.org we learn:

The pitaya or dragon fruit is a fairly easy to grow tropical to subtropical fruit in the cactus family (HOW IRONIC IS THAT?!) , native to South and Central America. Although It is not of large commercial importance (MAYBE THAT’S ABOUT TO CHANGE!) , it is fairly common throughout the world’s tropics. It is well adapted to wet climates (MORE IRONY!) as long as its soil (AND WESTERN WALLETS!) has good drainage.

UPDATED: As it turns out, the Dragon Fruit has a very long cultural tradition rooted in marketing! According to the Legend of the Dragon Fruit, from www.tropicalfruitnursery.com,

The sensation surrounding this fabulous fruit can be attributed to a legend created by ingenious Asian marketers. According to the legend the fruit was created thousands of years ago by fire breathing dragons. During a battle when the dragon would breathe fire the last thing to come out would be the fruit. After the dragon is slain the fruit is collected and presented to the Emperor as a coveted treasure and indication of victory.

Steve Who? And Why is the Quality Dropping?

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Who is this “Steve” of Steve Enterprise in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, producing water “by the technology of the United States of America?”

RobbieGates on Flickr photographed this interesting bottled water, “supplied by our hotel and had the curious name “Steve”. We ended up using steve as a generic term for free water supplied by a hotel for the rest of the trip.”

And best of all, “I only noticed when I got home the slogan “The Quality Drops” – perhaps not quite the connotation they were looking for.”

Dr. Kay Ninewater Solves Twitter Pet-Frets

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Important information for dog owners! Editorial Note: Today we’re honored to have Dr. Kay Ninewater, Suburbia’s noted dog hydration expert, to address some of the pressing concerns voiced in the Twitter-verse on what our dogs want and need, water-wise.

First, a comment not from an owner, but directly from the apparently twittering pet:

Luna, apparently you’ve drank just plain old tap water or perhaps a convenient puddle. The Doctor suggests you switch to Pet Sweat, your very own version of the popular Asian brand, Pocari Sweat. Out the door, out the pores, no more on the floor! Let your owner know asap. –Kay

Kelsey, your puppy has a picky palette and you should pop for the premium. Perhaps you are aware of Fortifido bottled water, but did you know it’s also available in a parsley flavor? Water is not only life for your pet, it’s the spice of life! (Break out your wallet and don’t imagine you’ll find it for 50 cents; It’s on sale in this photo.) –Kay

Well, Dan, I’m glad I wasn’t there to watch your poor pet suffering as he desperately struggled to rehydrate with nothing but basic tap water. You’ll need to stock up on PetRefresh, as it’s specially designed to…well, refresh pets. Does your tap water come with this brand promise? No, I didn’t think so. –Kay

Gus, the Doctor doesn’t like your party-pooch attitude. I’ll bet a switch to Dogua will get you back on track, because it provides “essential vitamins, minerals and nutrients for increased strength, endurance and an enhanced mental state of mind.” And, it has natural peanut butter flavoring, too, which will certainly squelch your boredom. (From www.allnaturaldogua.com)
 –Kay

Mrs. Cash, wake up, your dog is trying to bond with you! This positive behavior is well documented by dog psychologists and is known as cross-species backwash socialization. Encourage your pet’s natural instincts with a communal drinking vessel like the Cool Pooch. –Kay

Yes, Witch22, man’s best friend can produce life’s worst mouth-odor if you serve him water straight from your tap, which is loaded with god-knows-what sort of smell-inducing impurities. You can keep holding your breath and save a few cents, or you can start serving your blameless companion Dog Whisper, which contains a delightful hint of spearmint. Pee Yew? It’s entirely up to you. –Kay

The Cardinals? And plastic, at that?! Jerry, proper pet care involves teaching socially acceptable behavior as well as providing basic sustenance. If you want your dog to act like a princess rather than a spoiled brat, you should be serving her water (bottled, please!) in a fine lead crystal bowl like this lovely one from Table & Home. (Don’t be put off by the ‘lead,’ it’s not the dangerous kind, it’s the pretty kind!) It is your responsibility to model behavior that’s class, not crass. –Kay

Thanks to these contributing photographers!

Cool Pooch doggy water bottle by paulhinks on Flickr

Fortifido Parsley by jemal on Flickr

Pet Sweat from www.gigglesugar.com

Dog Whisper water from adamrice on Flickr

Los Angeles ‘Bottled Watergate’

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On the flip side, doesn’t anyone notice that this sensitive procedure by the LA County Supervisors was creating jobs? How many basement-wage, demoralizing internships will now face the hatchet? My recently-graduated daughter would kill for this entry-level “graphic arts” opportunity! From L.A. Now at the latimesblogs,

Bottled Watergate Update
3:51 PM | April 8, 2009

Los Angeles County supervisors gave up their bottled water this week — trading individual plastic bottles emblazoned with the county seal for paper cups and old-fashioned carafes filled with iced tap water.

The move came a week after The Times reported that a student worker peeled the labels off individual water bottles, used a computer to print out custom labels and slapped them on. The relabeling of the bottles for the supervisors’ weekly board meetings had been going on for years.

Supervisors’ aides said the special water was needed to avoid giving free advertising to the original bottler on public-access television broadcasts.

But that struck many people as fiscally wasteful, environmentally unfriendly and politically tone deaf. After all, the supervisors have ordered cuts in recent months that has resulted in the removal of purified water in county hospitals. Workers in some county buildings complained that they did not even have a working drinking fountain.