Bad Bottle #18: Crayola Kocktails for Kids

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Crayon flavored water, hmmmm. It appeals to something buried deep in my subconcious, the memory of gnawing on the colorful wax sticks and putting them into my mouth, despite being expressly forbidden by my mother to do so. Yes, in my mind I can imagine the taste of burnt sienna right at the moment…

Bonus fascinating crayon fact: The Crayola color “flesh” was voluntarily changed to “peach” in 1962 in the wake of the civil rights movement. Good thing, or I’d be tempted to make some lame cannibal jokes here.

Photo by robotech master 2000 on Flickr.

Bad Bottle #17: Somewhere faraway there breathes the soul of a copywriter

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I don’t know where the site www.finewaters.com originates, but the enthusiastic writer/s certainly speak English as a second language. And how charming it is, their passion and enthusiam breaking the language barrier to reveal the essence of the sensual, passionate lifestyle-sell.

For Just Born Spring Drops (irresistable branding in name alone!), from the Chennai region of India, the product description reads:

Just Born Spring Drops is a great gift by Mother Nature. Crisp and clear it emerges at an altitude of 6,500 Sqft. cloud kissing peak of the Nilgiris Mountain.

The spring flows from the catchments area through the mountain layers naturally filtered and emerges in an unspoiled ecological protected environment, pure and intact where it is bottled at source at 10 C that maintains its purity and freshness.

To no one’s surprise, the company “have identified the benefit of this unique singular tasting crisp and clear water more suitable for babies and children. Ideal for the preparation of babies formula, cereals, juices, foods and soups.”

How do you spot ‘fake’ water?

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This item is from BBC news on Wednesday, 3 September 2008:
Fake sacred water ‘poses danger’

Muslims observing Ramadan have been urged to avoid bottled water which may contain high levels of poison arsenic. Sacred Zam Zam water originates from Saudi Arabia and cannot be exported from the country for commercial sale. Zam Zam is traditionally drunk by pilgrims for its healing properties and during the holy period of Ramadan. Environmental health officers in Luton have warned that bottles for sale that are labelled as Zam Zam water are of unknown origin and pose a risk. Joan Bailey, of Luton Borough Council, said: “In previous years this product has been on sale in Luton and anyone who has bought the product is being advised to throw it away. “As we can’t trace the origin of this water, it poses a great risk to anyone who consumes it.”

This batch, photographed in Malaysia, is by thefunks on Flickr.

Bad Bottle #16: After the Pastry Water Comes Diet Water

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So you splurged on that Pastry Water. Maybe even a case or two. Not to worry, get back in line with zero calorie Diet Water. Just like regular zero calorie water, but with an in-your-face label that announces your weakness to the world. From www.engrish.com

Bad Bottle #12-15: You are what you drink

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You can just cut the complaining right now about your weight, and stop asking if you look fat. Because I saw you swigging down that Strawberry Shortcake Pastry Water when you could have chosen the more sensible Skinny Water.

Bad Bottle #11: A Transparent Marketing Ploy

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When faced with a myriad of choices in bottled water, heaven knows we want the one that’s safe. Seen in India by Flickr-er Chinita Jill, who reports that SAFE is the brand that sustained them during a desert safari in Jaisalmer.

What you get when you cross architects with activists

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At the Labor Day Slow Foods Festival in San Francisco, tap water is served under this unusual shelter constructed from water bottles and various other beverage containers. We can safely assume that they’ll be recycled at the festival’s conclusion.

Both photos are by djg2theworld on Flickr.

Bad bottle #10: Explosive design concept

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I’m not sure I’d find this particular bottle of Unicef water refreshing. The label shows photos of unexploded ordnance that might be found in south Lebanon, including land mines and cluster bombs. The Arabic translates “Don’t Approach, Don’t Touch, Inform.” From The Saff-ster on Flickr.

Get your bottle on

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This unusual look was conceived to demonstrate the amount of waste generated by one person drinking bottled water for one month. Worn by flickr user katakanadian along a 10K race route–an auspicious setting for this particular message.

Bad Bottle #8 and #9: Man and Beast

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If you’re feeling a bit guilty enjoying your “Human Water” while hitting your dog’s bowl with the garden hose, break open some “FortiFido” and treat him to the “natural peanut butter flavor” he craves. Per the label, it’s for “the dog you love!” What, don’t you love your dog enough?

Human Water photo from www.engrish.com. FortiFido from adamrice on Flickr (on a page cleverly titled, “its the end of the world as we know it.”