Bottled Water + Solar Power = Scare in the Air

Nervous flyer? Then here’s another thing to worry about when you’re airborne: Is dangerous bottled water perched up in the cockpit, ready to ignite?

“Doomsday Jim,” this blog’s eyes and ears in OZ, tips us to this story. From the Courier Mail Queensland,

A bottle of water caused a fire in the cockpit of a Airbus A320 passenger aircraft as it was about to land at a Queensland airport.

According to an Australian Transport Safety Bureau report, the pilots were lining up on the runway when they smelled smoke last month.

It was coming from the cover of a log carried in the cockpit to record inflight defects in mechanical, navigation, electrical, hydraulic and radio equipment.

The incident was reported to the bureau, which investigated and concluded a water bottle was to blame.

“The sun was shining through a water bottle at the side of the cockpit,” the ATSB report said.

“The bottle was focusing the sunlight like a magnifying glass on the cover of the cabinet defect log, which began burning.”

One reason I love Australian news media is their mastery of the subtle-but-clever news story punch line. And in this story, it’s a winner!

The bureau did not say whether the water in the bottle was used to douse the fire.

Mysterious Fruits of Water: Dragonfruit

Now that much of the public has deduced that bottled-up tap water might not be their best buy, marketers have responded with value-added flavorings that ostensibly de-commoditize their products. But of course, it’s still brutally competitive in the death-battle for shelf space and market share, so a ho-hum strawberry flavor is just not going to cut it.

So now we see many esoteric fruits of the world lending exclusivity to various bottled waters.

Here’s Organic Water Plus Vitamins with Dragonfruit and Kiwi. (There’s a got-it-all product for you!) I know what Kiwi is, but Dragonfruit? With the aid of appropedia.org we learn:

The pitaya or dragon fruit is a fairly easy to grow tropical to subtropical fruit in the cactus family (HOW IRONIC IS THAT?!) , native to South and Central America. Although It is not of large commercial importance (MAYBE THAT’S ABOUT TO CHANGE!) , it is fairly common throughout the world’s tropics. It is well adapted to wet climates (MORE IRONY!) as long as its soil (AND WESTERN WALLETS!) has good drainage.

UPDATED: As it turns out, the Dragon Fruit has a very long cultural tradition rooted in marketing! According to the Legend of the Dragon Fruit, from www.tropicalfruitnursery.com,

The sensation surrounding this fabulous fruit can be attributed to a legend created by ingenious Asian marketers. According to the legend the fruit was created thousands of years ago by fire breathing dragons. During a battle when the dragon would breathe fire the last thing to come out would be the fruit. After the dragon is slain the fruit is collected and presented to the Emperor as a coveted treasure and indication of victory.

Steve Who? And Why is the Quality Dropping?

Who is this “Steve” of Steve Enterprise in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, producing water “by the technology of the United States of America?”

RobbieGates on Flickr photographed this interesting bottled water, “supplied by our hotel and had the curious name “Steve”. We ended up using steve as a generic term for free water supplied by a hotel for the rest of the trip.”

And best of all, “I only noticed when I got home the slogan “The Quality Drops” – perhaps not quite the connotation they were looking for.”

Dr. Kay Ninewater Solves Twitter Pet-Frets

Important information for dog owners! Editorial Note: Today we’re honored to have Dr. Kay Ninewater, Suburbia’s noted dog hydration expert, to address some of the pressing concerns voiced in the Twitter-verse on what our dogs want and need, water-wise.

First, a comment not from an owner, but directly from the apparently twittering pet:

Luna, apparently you’ve drank just plain old tap water or perhaps a convenient puddle. The Doctor suggests you switch to Pet Sweat, your very own version of the popular Asian brand, Pocari Sweat. Out the door, out the pores, no more on the floor! Let your owner know asap. –Kay

Kelsey, your puppy has a picky palette and you should pop for the premium. Perhaps you are aware of Fortifido bottled water, but did you know it’s also available in a parsley flavor? Water is not only life for your pet, it’s the spice of life! (Break out your wallet and don’t imagine you’ll find it for 50 cents; It’s on sale in this photo.) –Kay

Well, Dan, I’m glad I wasn’t there to watch your poor pet suffering as he desperately struggled to rehydrate with nothing but basic tap water. You’ll need to stock up on PetRefresh, as it’s specially designed to…well, refresh pets. Does your tap water come with this brand promise? No, I didn’t think so. –Kay

Gus, the Doctor doesn’t like your party-pooch attitude. I’ll bet a switch to Dogua will get you back on track, because it provides “essential vitamins, minerals and nutrients for increased strength, endurance and an enhanced mental state of mind.” And, it has natural peanut butter flavoring, too, which will certainly squelch your boredom. (From www.allnaturaldogua.com)
–Kay

Mrs. Cash, wake up, your dog is trying to bond with you! This positive behavior is well documented by dog psychologists and is known as cross-species backwash socialization. Encourage your pet’s natural instincts with a communal drinking vessel like the Cool Pooch. –Kay

Yes, Witch22, man’s best friend can produce life’s worst mouth-odor if you serve him water straight from your tap, which is loaded with god-knows-what sort of smell-inducing impurities. You can keep holding your breath and save a few cents, or you can start serving your blameless companion Dog Whisper, which contains a delightful hint of spearmint. Pee Yew? It’s entirely up to you. –Kay

The Cardinals? And plastic, at that?! Jerry, proper pet care involves teaching socially acceptable behavior as well as providing basic sustenance. If you want your dog to act like a princess rather than a spoiled brat, you should be serving her water (bottled, please!) in a fine lead crystal bowl like this lovely one from Table & Home. (Don’t be put off by the ‘lead,’ it’s not the dangerous kind, it’s the pretty kind!) It is your responsibility to model behavior that’s class, not crass. –Kay

Thanks to these contributing photographers!

Cool Pooch doggy water bottle by paulhinks on Flickr

Fortifido Parsley by jemal on Flickr

Pet Sweat from www.gigglesugar.com

Dog Whisper water from adamrice on Flickr

WAT-AAH Crock! Parents Completely Abandon Parenting

We’re not into the rant-and-complain blog style around here, but this has got to be among the most annoying, grating campaigns and product positionings I’ve ever seen.

The ridiculously-named company Let Water Be Water, LLC is responsible for,

WAT-AAH!, the first sugar-free, functional water brand made specifically for kids by kids and their mothers.

Which is a contender for the single most preposterous statement in the history of PR flackery. (Thanks, fathers, for not participating in this.)

And if that’s not low enough, they shamelessly announce in this press release their “New WAT-AAH! Challenge…”

…to defy the expectation that kids will pick soda or juice over water. During the month of March, mothers who participate in the challenge will receive WAT-AAH! samples with instructions to put the bottled water in their fridge, alongside sodas and other sugary drinks. Mothers will be asked to write, photograph and videotape their kids’ responses and reactions to WAT-AAH!. “Challenge” participants and ongoing results are available at www.wat-aahchallenge.blogspot.com.
“We want to challenge the preconceived notions people have about kids and drinks,” says WAT-AAH!’s founder, Rose Cameron. “Our goal is to test the assumption that kids are addicted to sugar and think water is boring. We are confident that children will pick WAT-AAH! over the big guys with multi-million dollar beverage budgets and logos that believe they are ‘cool,’ and we invite moms everywhere to participate in this challenge.”

So, set up the fridge like this, parents! The little ones will pick the water every time, you’ll see! (The only thing this promotion proves is the lengths some people will go to get some free bottled water.)

Had enough? No? If you’re masochistic or in extreme-procrastination mode, you can visit their screechingly-bad website, filled with fingernails-on-the-blackboard declarations like “Be Supaah! Jump Highaah! Be Smart-aah!”

If all this fails, modern parents, try my method (with your kids’ permission, of course.) It’s been successfully road-tested on my three children and millions of others: “Soda? NO WAY-AHH. Here’s your tap WAT-AHH.”

Smoke on the Water

High praise for this creative packaging! I regret that I am unable to translate the Chinese label for you, as you’re likely as curious as I am about the production details for this bottled water, including any possible additives! From the Flickr photostream of The Study Abroad Experience… and what a colorful cultural collage of an education it must have been!

Hello, Kitty – My, How You’ve Grown!

Two Japanese favorites–Hello Kitty and bottled water–combine in a tacky package that’s sure to appeal to pre-teens and pervs alike. From the set Japan 2009 by Erika Ray on Flickr.

It’s Spring, and Water Marketers Send Their Love

We might love our tap water, but that’s not to stop or slow the relentless bottled water branders from absconding with the power of love to move the water and the wallets.

While I was in California in January, I picked up this interesting number in a organic food store near Carmel. The brand is “Aquamantra” (here, in the convenient “Mini-Mantra” size) and the concept seems to involve invoking positive self-talk while drinking the water for a spiritually uplifting experience. And a solitary experience, too, given the high probability for public ridicule. (It’s water for Stuart Smalley! “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, I am Loved! glug glug.”)

If that’s too intense for you, just go for this straight-up approach that bridges the language barrier with the language of love, seen in Vietnam and shared by silveroses69 on Flickr. Lovely!

Attention Conspiracy Theorists: NASA Water Recycling

Ordinarily, I’d post this photo of Vietnamese bottled water “purified by NASA’s award-winning technology” strictly for our amusement. (from the Picasa Web Album Hoi An, Vietnam by Mark)

But it reminds us of something we read on Engadget in the summer of 2007:

NASA drops $19m on Russian toilets
for American asstronauts [sic]

Super-good pun headline notwithstanding, our radar is up. NASA…millions of dollars…Russians…mysterious bottled water in a deprived country with scant government oversight of foodstuffs… Coincidence? Judge for yourself, but I am adjusting my tinfoil chapeau.

The July, 2007 Engadget story notes:

So apparently NASA has agreed to purchase toilet technology from the Russian company RSC Energia for the tidy sum of $19 million, to be delivered to the ISS in 2008 in preparation for a crew upsizing from three to six members. The previous system required that urine tanks be transferred to cargo ships and burned up in the Earth’s atmosphere, but the new toilets operate like a waste treatment center on Earth, collecting and reconstituting urine as drinking water — an unpleasant concept for a number of our readers, but a welcome relief for thirsty astronauts. The toilets are similar to normal models, though they employ leg restraints and thigh bars to hold the “user” in place, and high-powered fans to suck, um… waste into the commode. The system will be installed on the American side of the station, while the Russian-side will remain as is, resulting in extremely long lines to use the “good” bathroom.

Sneaky Recycling at the Mini-Bar

We usually feel it’s a crime to fail to recycle plastic bottles, but not always, as in this funny-but-not-funny case of felonious recycling and abuse of “fresh sink water” spotted by our pal  “Eagle-eye Jim”:

Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way to Avoid Minibar Charges

from hotelchatter.com…(readers were asked) to tell him about their fave minibar beverage experience. Sandwiched between the “minibars are stupid and expensive” and “minibars are lousy places for wine” comments, we noticed someone has responded with this:

Im ashamed but its too dam [sic] funny that i woke up in a drunk daze after a wedding and drank this whole Evian in the room then looked in the morning at the paper attached to the neck saying if bottle consumed, room will be charged 7.50 so i filled that shit up with some fresh sink water and used a lighter to seal that cap back on haha..

Here, we bottled water boycotters can have a good hearty laugh, while the bottled water holdouts can feel slightly uneasy. Whatever your opinion on tap water, I bet this might convince you to consider the merits of “fresh sink water!”

Photo: No, it’s NOT the actual bottle portrayed in the story, but one from mrjojo on Flickr. There is no evidence that this incident took place (or didn’t take place!) at Marriott.