It’s the Thirsty in Suburbia Super Water Flea! Following are 10 hand-picked examples of rare, unusual and weird water-related merch just waiting for your winning bid. (We count the purchase of vintage items towards your recycling/reuse do-gooder ranking!)

1. Brass Dowsing Rods Finds water! Plus treasure and lost items, too! These rods are made of brass with copper handles. The handle/sleeves give the rods plenty of room to move and any dent or bend won’t affect the rods. Get your shovel ready, your new well is on the way! Starting bid $9.99

2. Drive someone slowly, excruciatingly mad with the  New Dripping Tap Noise Maker Joke $5.99 Hide this little item and when the lights are out It it makes a noise like a dripping tap. When the lights go on, it stops…so the victim never finds its.

3. For $299 a Vintage Retro 2-head porcelain water fountain. Made in the USA, too! Seller notes it would be an interesting detail to a home or business. I’ll say! (You pick it up in central New York…will not fit in a flat-rate box.) Don’t laugh… remember the fab thing that Katie made from an old tub?)

4. Jack and Jill Water Carrier vintage pins/fur clips Their little moonglow stone bodies, cute buckets of blue stones and pave rhinestone outfits make toting heavy water buckets seem glamorous! Lobbyists, these would be awesome to wear when you’re power-tripping up “The Hill” to fetch some support for your water issue! Get the set for $139.99.

5. Vintage desert water bag “Imported flax” water bag is in “very good condition with a few small water spots as you would expect.” This is what your Grandpa would have on hand should his automobile overheat over while motoring through the desert miles from civilization. Now? Might make jaunty decor for a Santa Fe TGI Fridays.

6. Filter, schmilter. The bidding starts at $3.50 for this 10 oz. box of Old Settler Water Clear. It was made in Findlay Ohio and has the price of 13 cents stamped on the top of the box. The box includes directions on how to use the product to clear dirty water. (Better jump on this… it’s no longer “Sold by All Grocers.”)

7. For $4.95, buy a Rain of Las Vegas Nevada Water Treatment Patch. Original purpose and origin not known. Why buy such a thing? Because then you would have it. Simple as that.

8. $9.95 Bottled Water from Sheri’s Ranch, the “world famous brothel” in Pahrump, Nevada. I can’t decide whether it is sensible or senseless to buy bottled water at a brothel. Buy with confidence, I’m told “the government” regulates both of them.

9. Black Water Clear Water Magic Trick Amaze your friends and enemies by turning ordinary water an eerie dark black and then clear again! $17.50 (This item Involves mysterious unidentified chemicals.) Water treatment professionals: try this stunt at your next public forum and I’ll bet you win unanimous support for your proposal!

10. Vintage Ohio Art Tin Litho Water Pump featuring Jack and Jill! 10″ tall antique toy in very good condition. A nostalgic throwback to the old days, when children played outside and running water was a workout. Two bidders already in, $20.49 at this writing.