Farming we all need water

We all need water, man! I’m Farming and I Grow It

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Farming we all need waterHappy July 4th from Kansas, where farming is still as vital to our lives and livelihoods as it was for Americans 236 years ago. Spiraling and viraling it’s way around the internet is this great parody music video from the Peterson Brothers of Kansas. “I’m Farming and I Grow It” is a catchy take-off on LMFAO’s Sexy and I Know It.

What I want you to know, though, is that it includes a nod to agriculture’s most important resource, water. Below, ThirstyInSuburbia helps you skip right to the good water part at 2:15. Read more

Time For Spring Housecleaning

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A clean house is a happy house, and a good scrub and update on this site’s back-end is long overdue! We’ll be taking off the week of April 26th from posting to take care of spring maintenance. Don’t forget about us, we’ll be right back next week!

10 Swell Water Wallpapers for your Desktop

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Have you had that same old boring water drip and ripple decorating your desktop for years… or worse, whatever logoed billboard that came installed with your computer? Get out of your rut and try out one of these unique, distinctive water-themed wallpapers that just might give you a bright, colorful new perspective this week.

Save Water by =1ar on Devinant Art

Underwater 4 from Vlad Studio

Underwater 3 from Vlad Studio

Aquarium from Vlad Studio

Chalkboard Waterdrops by Farmidable

Ocean Swell by Duckfarm

Plastic = Drastic from Just Wallpaper

Water Flame via wallpapers.bpix.org

I Spy with my Little Eye… via Becoming Minimalist

I Love Water from Adanvvv on Flickr

What is Lost in Translation: Time

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Go ahead and lose yourself in the hysterical site translationparty.com, which translates your English phrase to Japanese, back to English, to Japanese, to English ad infinitum. This is one of those internet oddities that will have you missing deadlines and falling behind. Following, just a few of my time-intensive efforts:

Thanks, Spammers!

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This blog recently surpassed 10,000 spam comments since January 1st. While that can be irritating, not all spammers just dump links for drugs or porn. Some, in fact, have some very nice and flattering things to say about my modest project (although surprisingly little to say about water!) Following, a sampling of spam that has me puffing out my chest, grinning with pride and discovering new opportunities!

Thanks, Katty! Every feedreader software subscriber I get brings me closer to the top!

Da best to you, too! I don’t need a credit card, but can you help me get my HELOC back?

I don’t know about very good movies, but about your web…very confusing, and what’s with all those popups? I couldn’t find where to enter my bank account numbers to get my easy loan!

Sure Gary, I’ll post a bunch more, because I like the way you like me!

You put a blindingly white smile on my face, and that’s a fact, Jack!

You Brits make me blush! (People don’t usually call me beautiful, but do say I have a great personality!) When I need a lease purchase agreement, YOU are my first call!

When you come back again, please bring detailed instructions on how I can get rich from my smart posts!

Not sure I understand your request, but as your treasured patron I’ll do my cute and lovely best!

UPDATE! On the very morning this post was published, I received a spam trackback from a spammer on my spam post! If only everyone were this responsive!

Watch Your Time Drain Away

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Where did the time go! It’s draining away, just like many of our fresh water sources and now you can visualize that maddening time leak with this online clock. Watch the seconds, minutes and hours drain away as you think about what you should be doing or meant to get done. Stressful, depressing and entertaining, all at the same time!

Spotted on The Presurfer, via Grow-A-Brain

Top 10 Water Idioms

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So, you’re talkin’ water and suspect you’re sounding a bit cliche, using the same old water idioms over and over. Your puns and clever twists seem tired and worn out. At least that’s how we feel sometimes here in suburbia, writing about water day after day.

Time for some “research!” What are the most frequently-used water idioms? The all-knowing Google can tell us! From now on, we’ll avoid these over-used phrases unless we get ourselves in hot water at a disreputable watering hole!

Attention engineers, planners and politicians: One amazing factoid from our research: WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE (#15) is thirteen times more popular than WATER OVER THE DAM (#28). And SPEND MONEY LIKE WATER is the least popular idiom in our study (#31).

Methodology: On April 13, 2009, using the idiom list for the word WATER from The Free Dictionary (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/), each identified phrase was entered into Google search and ranked numerically.

How the Party Crashed: A Corporate Fable

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Illustration: Business Party by Keat Teoh

I was genuinely enthused to be invited, and when I got there the party was in full swing. Leadership met me at the door with a nice welcome; he was an exceptional host, really working the room, shaking hands and chatting with everyone.

Smart and Popular were there with all their terrific friends. Fun and Personable were there too, along with Camaraderie and his brother Supportive. These six were the life of the party and everyone congregated around them like moths to a candle. Arrogant was at there too, but you know he can be really fun at a party. The beer was flowing and everybody was dancing, laughing and having a great time–even Quiet and Humble were on their feet!

Right about then, who walks in but Smug and Knowitall. (Why Leadership invited them is anyone’s guess.) Suddenly Arrogant got pretty aloof and obnoxious when teamed up with those two. They all cornered Leadership and formed their own little group apart from everyone else, whispering little secrets among themselves. So the party started to get noticeably less fun at that point.

Shortly thereafter, the next unwelcome guests to arrive were Frustrated followed by those two twins that everyone hates, Hopeless and Powerless. No one was dancing at this point and someone turned off the music. I didn’t see Smart, Popular, or any of those cool people from earlier. I supposed they’d left.

Finally, who walks in and plops down on a chair but Apathy, and it was obvious to everyone that he was there to stay and had no intention of leaving as long as his buddies Frustrated, Hopeless and Powerless were hanging around. There was no more chatter and laughter; everyone pretty much huddled in small groups barely talking in low, in hushed voices.

Just when I was mentally creating lame excuses to get out of there, Leadership (who had been noticeably absent) re-appeared and yelled out that there was no more food and the keg was empty.

That’s when I snuck out the side door. And never looked back.

I’m a Big Shot! More Fun with Titles

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Another idea: what “big shot” sounding titles can I compose that are, in fact, accurate for my position?

Global Advertising Liaison (quarter-pages ’round the world.)
Associate Communications Director (In fact, I associate with them almost every day.)
Associate Vice President (I associate with them, too.)
Global Branding Oversight (I do tend to overlook a lot of that stuff.)
Environmental Infrastructure Liaison (although I think I’m finally out of that r’garden stuff).
Director of New Media (I get this by default because no one else knows what it is.)

I’m the writer. Or…

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While chatting with someone today, I quipped that I would like my business card to carry the title “Content Sniper.” And I would, really. Which led me to imagine, what are some other titles that might more accurately reflect the skills and mysterious chem that is, actually, about 75% of the package that makes a good “writer.”
How about…
Content Engineer (Engineer! That might win more respect around The Company.)
Differentiator (A handful of astute people have honed in on this one.)
Message Designer (alternatively, Content Designer,)
Textual Expression Specialist (for my Graphic Artist buds who always call copy “text.”)
Factotum (I actually used this one for awhile when I was a freelancer–latin, meaning, an employee or official having many different responsibilities. Still dead-on.)
Comprehensibility Control Specialist (would work well in my current situation)
UnTechnical Writer
Information Weaver (I get this, no one else would)
Randomizer (actually, not random at all though it looks that way to others)
Page Filler (for those who think it’s that easy)
Lorem Ipsum (same as the preceding)
Language Stylist (sounds neat, but too narrow)
Hostess, Market Party (inside joke–enemy of the infamous “party bore.”)
Brand Stamper (I like the rhythm of that one)
Branding Iron (hysterical!)
Last Brand Standing (not a good title, but a good name for a small copy biz)
WhatthefuckamIdoinghere (too direct, perhaps)