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10 More Weird Water Items for Sale on Ebay

The Thirsty in Suburbia Super Water Flea returns! Following are 10 more hand-picked examples of rare, unusual and weird water-related merch just waiting for your winning bid. (The Sept. 2009 edition is here.)

1. You always knew water tended to be political so how about this one that’s “the right drink for the conservative taste”? This “Goldwater” can was made during  the 1960s Barry Goldwater U.S. presidential campaign. The seller notes, “the can has some rust on it.” Currently, one bidder with $2.00 on the board.

2. This represents “the greatest sensational mystery ever attempted in this or any other age.” Just try finding that someplace else for under twenty bucks. The Houdini In the Water-Filled Torture Cell poster is available at the Buy-It-Now price of $16.98.

3. With a little lovin’ care, this Halsey Taylor vintage water fountain could be the centerpiece of your properly sustainable mid-century modern hipster hangout. It is sold “As Is” and there are no returns! You can Buy it Now for just $44.98, but don’t overlook the $79.98 shipping charges. But who can put a price on Cool, really?

4. Get rich quick! Did you know making money with bottled water is as easy as filling in the blanks? The description for the Bottled Water Company Business Plant bundle notes “Stop struggling to write your business plan by using the professionally prewritten sample Bottled Water Company business plan included in the Bottled Water Company Business Plan Bundle…” Just $39.95 with a “30 day money-back guarantee.”

5. As crazy as things are getting out in the Wild Water West, who knows, this could be worth something someday!

This is a common stock certificate from the Southern California Water Company issued August 12, 1952 to one “Stirling, Morris and Bousman.” Even if it is worthless, the nice engraving of pipes and tanks will surely console the buyer. Maybe you? It’s a low risk at Just $8.29 and impulse shoppers, it’s “Buy It Now!”

6. While this is a classic gag, you DO need special supplies, and here they are! The New colored Tap Water Prank Gag Practical Joke is yours for 99 cents and $1.95 shipping. A cheap thrill! Just “insert one of four colored tablets into your faucet stem and watch as the water gets UGLY. Comes with 3 colored tablets and spring.” When April 1st rolls around you’re going to wish you’d jumped on this one, so plan ahead now!

7. Speaking of planning ahead, here’s your Halloween ace in the hole! Check out the HOT price ($258) on this Water Droplet costume. (Last Halloween, we priced a similar one for $1,279 and it didn’t even have awesome googly eyes like this one does! The seller notes that this giant water drop has a POLYFOAM head, which is important because,

“We use the advanced machine to manufacture POLYFOAM head, it is only one piece, it is stronger and enough hard to avoid to break when it meet strike accidentally, User head can be protected very well, but paperboard or foam head was produced by different  paperboard or foam pieces, they was usually agglutinated by the bad gluewater, this kind of head is not very firm, and very easily to turn into fragment, At the same time, the gluewater do harm to the User, It makes the User headache or feel unhappy.”

8. Get back to nature and start livin’ off the land with this old timey Rare Crank Water Pump, SBP St. Louis. The seller says it is in “very good condition, the crank turns freely & turns a chain with small tin cups to lift water up.” So if you’re dreaming of getting off the water grid, this could help you git yer groundwater on…err, up. The starting bid is $699 but the shipping is “free.”

9. Another item for those suffering an unusual obsession with vintage pumps. As if the internet’s not bad enough, this DVD covers Myers Vintage Water Pumps Catalogs from 1905 -1940. F.E. Myers Pumps was established in 1870 and the Myers’ brothers developed the first double acting hand pump. The DVD reproduces 7 vintage catalogs, featuring a huge treasury of information and illustrations for all types of water pumps, windmills, etc for home, farm and commercial use.

10. This is a new copy of a vintage Water Hazard golf sign. It measures 6″ x 12″ and it all-weather metal. Of course you don’t have to use this for something golf-related. Use your imagination, you can come up with something inventive, can’t you? It is listed with a starting bid of $4.99 with $4.95 for shipping.

Stormwater Grievance Expressed in Sign Language

Ya’lled be mad, too, if the city widened a road and turned your front yard into a storm-powered waterfall headed straight for your front door. Still, it ain’t been easy for the Cary, North Carolina town leaders to appease the annoyed Mr. Bowden. So he’s taken his complaint to the streets with an in-your-face message right on the front of his house. From wral.com (the video news report is embedded below), Mr. Bowden…

…claims a recent widening project on Maynard Road has left his once-arboreal yard void of trees and with a steep slope that funnels rain water into his home.

Bowden, who’s lived in the house since 1992, says he has complained for a year now to the town about water damage underneath his house but was told the drainage issue is with his gutters.

“You don’t have to be an electrical engineer or a construction engineer to know water runs downhill,” he said.

That stinks! But before you get caught up a wellspring of sympathy, there’s another side to the story. Seems the problem didn’t start with the widening (although it did worsen.) And he doesn’t want the problem fixed. He wants no less than a generous taxpayer-funded buyout. That is, top dollar for a so-so property in a depressed real estate market.

Assistant Town Manager Mike Bajorek says he understands Bowden’s frustration but says it’s also frustrating for the town. “We have gone to him and said we have a design that would help resolve (the drainage issue),” Bajorek said. “He said, ‘No, stay off my property. I want you to buy my house.”

Bajorek said the town has purchased houses with drainage problems when there was no possible solution but that it is not willing, at this point, to spend tax money to buy the house.

Bowden told the town that the drainage issue was a problem for years before the widening project when the state Department of Transportation put an overlay on Maynard Road, Bajorek said.

“We have been working on this project for several years,” he said. “We have a fix in place. We’re just waiting for Mr. Bowden to give us the go ahead to install that.”

Good try, Dave, but haven’t you learned that you can’t fight city hall? While you stubbornly refuse to remove the message, the town is citing you for violation of their sign ordinance, with big fines that escalate the longer the eyesore remains–$100 for the first day, $250 for the second and $500 for each day afterward. That’s gonna add up to a surprisingly expensive gripe!


But dogs can’t read.

“Waste not, want not.” But in this case, “waste, want not!” Aside from an abnormal fear of liability, I’m not sure what’s behind (ha ha) the motivation to post these warnings. But (ha ha) regardless of the reason, it certainly creates irresistable opportunities for crappy wordplay and bun-puns.

All photos from Flickr, number one (ha ha) photo from digehode, number two (ha ha) from rockzombie and number three from followtheleader.