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Bottled Water and Bacteria News: Consider the Source!

A big news flash today! Canadian researchers have discovered that many popular brands of bottled water contain “surprisingly high” levels of heterotrophic bacteria! The researchers presented their study results at the general meeting of the American Society of Microbiology in San Diego on May 26.

According to their research, more than 70 percent of the popular brands of bottled water tested failed to meet standards set forth by the United States Pharmacopeia, the non-governmental agency responsible for setting safety standards for medications and health care products. (Am I the only person wondering, “Who dat?“)

Bottled bacteria, that’s not funny! But this is! The source where I read about this shocking news was:

So all you bottled water drinkers, start documenting your crippling nausea and fatigue which has rendered you depressed, disabled and unable to work. You’re gonna be rich! Simply respond to the 800-number which will be appearing on late-night infomercials in short order.

Best of 2009: Water Quality Research For and By Dummies

We’re taking it easy the last week of 2009 with reposts of some of our 2009 faves! in case you missed it: Our March 2009 post, Water Quality Research For (and By) Dummies, In which we scooped the New York Times by months with our own exclusive research into tap water quality!

—REPOSTED, Original Link Here
Taste: recent research conducted both in the U.S. and Europe has repeatedly shown that taste (along with safety and convenience) is a leading motivator for the use of tap water alternatives. But tastes like what, exactly? To find out, we’ve done some exclusive research of our own.

Because Thirsty in Suburbia has zero qualifications or credentials to conduct sound, serious research, this “study” is absolutely non-scientific. Plus, since our stimulus check bounced we’re unfunded too!

Never mind, we will press on. Presenting the Google-based Virtual Water Taste Focus Group.

Methodology: In February, 2009 the exact phrase “our water tastes like” was entered into Google Search. 35 total results were returned and 6 were disqualified for syntax, leaving 29 “participants.” (♪ ♫ Don’t know much about science books ♫, but do know our way around Illustrator–so we’ve made a snazzy chart for you!)

1. our water tastes like chlorine
2. Our water tastes like pure and delicious water
3. our water tastes like dirt.
4. Our water tastes like water
5. Our water tastes like the premier bottled drinking water it is
6. our water tastes like shiat
7. our water tastes like dirt
8. our water tastes like tap water
9. our water tastes like dirt
10. Our water tastes like sulphur
11. our water tastes like lake water
12. our water tastes like crap
13. our water tastes like nectar from the tap
14. Our water tastes like the chlorine from a swimming pool.
15. our water tastes like bleach
16. our water tastes like algae
17. our water tastes like chlorine
18. our water tastes like horse s**t
19. our water tastes like it was strained through an ashtray
20. our water tastes like chemicals from new pipes
21. OUR WATER TASTES LIKE SHIT
22. our water tastes like someone dissolved a nickel in it
23. Our water tastes like butt
24. Our water tastes like disinfectant
25. our water tastes like carrots
26. our water tastes like a swimming pool
27. our water tastes like something George Washington himself might take a sip of and die from
28. our water tastes like liquid gold
29. our water tastes like golden nectar

h2ohhhhhh! Women Say Water Trumps Sex

Yet another enlightening finding in the study of curious gender differences! A new Cooking Light poll finds that women rank gettin’ some water more important that gettin’ some! Via www.basilandspice.com,

U.S. WOMEN SURVEYED IN COOKING LIGHT POLL SAY DRINKING THE RECOMMENDED AMOUNT OF WATER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN HAVING ENOUGH SEX
New York, NY (August 25, 2009) – Drinking the recommended daily amount of water is more important to women than having enough sex, according to a national survey conducted by Cooking Light magazine. When asked what women’s priorities were in terms of their health and well-being, drinking enough water ranked fifth and sex ranked seventh. Over 1,000 women across the country participated in Cooking Light’s “Women’s Wellness Poll” which surveyed their opinions on healthy living, eating and exercise.

In fact, there were six health and wellness activities that finished ahead of sexy number seven in the “Women’s Wellness Poll.”

1. Getting enough sleep
2. Keeping stress level low
3. Finding time to relax
4. Eating healthfully
5. Drinking the recommended amount of water
6. Finding time to exercise
7. Having enough sex

Sort-of related post:
Behind the Shower Curtain: Steamy Secrets In which Water Pik Corporation researches “What Men and Women Really Think About in the Shower”

Related in a parallel way:
From a report via consumerist.com: most people would rather save $50 a week (57 percent) than drop down to the next lowest clothing size (31 percent) or have more sex (6 percent).

Obligatory study methodology stuff for the skeptics:
This report is based on a blind online study conducted among a randomly selected sample of U.S. women age 25+. The data in this report is based on 1020 competed questionnaires. The maximum margin of error is +/- 3% at the 95% confidence level.

Top 10 Water Idioms

So, you’re talkin’ water and suspect you’re sounding a bit cliche, using the same old water idioms over and over. Your puns and clever twists seem tired and worn out. At least that’s how we feel sometimes here in suburbia, writing about water day after day.

Time for some “research!” What are the most frequently-used water idioms? The all-knowing Google can tell us! From now on, we’ll avoid these over-used phrases unless we get ourselves in hot water at a disreputable watering hole!

Attention engineers, planners and politicians: One amazing factoid from our research: WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE (#15) is thirteen times more popular than WATER OVER THE DAM (#28). And SPEND MONEY LIKE WATER is the least popular idiom in our study (#31).

Methodology: On April 13, 2009, using the idiom list for the word WATER from The Free Dictionary (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/), each identified phrase was entered into Google search and ranked numerically.

Water Quality Research for (and by) Dummies

Taste: recent research conducted both in the U.S. and Europe has repeatedly shown that taste (along with safety and convenience) is a leading motivator for the use of tap water alternatives. But tastes like what, exactly? To find out, we’ve done some exclusive research of our own.

Because Thirsty in Suburbia has zero qualifications or credentials to conduct sound, serious research, this “study” is absolutely non-scientific. Plus, since our stimulus check bounced we’re unfunded too!

Never mind, we will press on. Presenting the Google-based Virtual Water Taste Focus Group.

Methodology: In February, 2009 the exact phrase “our water tastes like” was entered into Google Search. 35 total results were returned and 6 were disqualified for syntax, leaving 29 “participants.” (♪ ♫ Don’t know much about science books ♫, but do know our way around Illustrator–so we’ve made a snazzy chart for you!)

1. our water tastes like chlorine
2. Our water tastes like pure and delicious water
3. our water tastes like dirt.
4. Our water tastes like water
5. Our water tastes like the premier bottled drinking water it is
6. our water tastes like shiat
7. our water tastes like dirt
8. our water tastes like tap water
9. our water tastes like dirt
10. Our water tastes like sulphur
11. our water tastes like lake water
12. our water tastes like crap
13. our water tastes like nectar from the tap
14. Our water tastes like the chlorine from a swimming pool.
15. our water tastes like bleach
16. our water tastes like algae
17. our water tastes like chlorine
18. our water tastes like horse s**t
19. our water tastes like it was strained through an ashtray
20. our water tastes like chemicals from new pipes
21. OUR WATER TASTES LIKE SHIT
22. our water tastes like someone dissolved a nickel in it
23. Our water tastes like butt
24. Our water tastes like disinfectant
25. our water tastes like carrots
26. our water tastes like a swimming pool
27. our water tastes like something George Washington himself might take a sip of and die from
28. our water tastes like liquid gold
29. our water tastes like golden nectar

Old price points get smashed

The (UK) Times Online reports today,

Supermarkets selling alcohol cheaper than water

Research has found that it costs less to quench your thirst with alcohol than bottled water at leading supermarkets. Discounted own-brand alcohol is sold for as little as 23p per can, according to the drink and drug charity Addaction. This research comes on the eve of Government plans to tackle binge drinking.

I wonder where this product fits in the value proposition?

Does this mean that water is ridiculously expensive or that booze is incredibly cheap? Well, both. Competition among shops and supermarkets has led to alcohol prices that average 8% less than the recommended retail price. Some items, especially generic “value brands” are as much as 40% below retail. And, the research found that when alcohol is considered as a proportion of income, it is almost 70% more affordable today than it was 1980.

So go ahead and cry in your beer, just don’t weep in the water.