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Can your iPad do all THIS? I don’t think so!

Note the importance of “this side facing up” lest you accidentally energize the table!

For all the innovative “pads” already devised, be they iPads, bachelor pads, mouse pads, maxipads, whatever…they all pale in comparison to this, the “Drinking Water Energizer Pad.” In the words of its enthusiastic marketer, Dr. K. Kannan (WOW, a Doctor!) on international marketplace www.alibaba.com

After years of Research we have created this sensational Energizer Pad, which we are sure will be the ultimate penacea for many human sufferings.

How, you ask, does this miraculous item work? It’s all based on sciencey-sounding principles:

Universal Energizer Pad is created, based on Indian Vedic Principles and is totally Non Invasive and harmless. It is charged with more than 1 million Angstrom units (Bovis Units) of Positive Energy permanently using the treasure of Vedic Principles.

You want a guarantee? Well, how’s THIS for a guarantee?

THE LIFE OF THIS ENERGIZER PAD IS LIFETIME.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE!!! I know you’re already excited, but consider it’s usable not only for water, but for just about anything that can be placed on top of it, rendering a plethora of items (even your mobile phone!) supercharged in a matter of minutes!

WHEN THE ITEM TO BE ENERGIZED IS KEPT OVER UNIVERSAL ENERGIZER PAD: IT

  • Positively Energizes drinking water many times, within 30 minutes.
  • Energized water whwn consumed helps to remove Toxins from body and helps to increase immunity.
  • Energized water when taken, activates all 7 Chakras of the body within minutes!
  • Energized water facilitates a sound sleep in the night.
  • Retains freshness of fruits, vegetables, milk, curd etc., and increases their energy levels.
  • Eliminates toxins considerably from Toxic eatables and drinks.
  • Positively charges any eatable items, including Medicines.
  • Highly energizes food we eat , with the plate on the Pad.
  • Harmonizes Mobile Phone Radiation for 24 hours when kept over night on the Pad.
  • Highly vitalizes Hair oils, Soaps, Shampoos, Body creams etc.,
  • Works as a good pain reliever when kept over or under the paining areas.

And best of all…this product will literally get you off your a** and moving. “Relieves stress considerably when used as a seat under the Chair cushion and helps to increase productivity considerably. Does enormous good to IT Professionals who are highly stressed lot.”

So don’t you feel silly now with your hopelessly old-fashioned Red Bull and ergonomic chair?