And you’re 100% right, I do! (Should I be worried that I’m gaining a reputation for ridiculous water ideas?)
The tinyurl points to Trendhunter.com:
Forget about drinking bottled water—now you can bathe in it! Based on the 10 Thousand BC brand of fine imported water, Glacier Bath hails from the Coastal Glacier Range in British Columbia, Canada. It can be shipped in bulk to “health-conscious and environmentally-aware high-end urbane sophisticates.”
And if bathing in ancient glaciers is aimed at “high-end urbane sophisticates” there’s bound to be an insane press release somewhere, right? And here it is! You can suffer the entire release below, but following are my favorite pee-are highlights!
…Luxury Water Utilities, LLC, a California-based sustainable water resources service company…
When life hands you climate change, make glacier-ade!
…Glacier Bath™ system — an environmentally friendly hydration service…
I think they mean “friendly” in the Facebook sense.
…premium glacier water. Locked in an icy vault for over 10,000 years…
Hello, do you have Sir Glacier in a can? Well let him out!!!
Glacier water is superior to common water sources, because it is not filtered through the ground where a variety of dissolved solids and organic particles such as rocks, sand, metals, chemicals and underground pollutants can attach to each water molecule.
I’m trying to imagine a rock attached to a molecule.
…fine waters from rare water sources from around the world that are guaranteed 100% natural in composition…
That is, guaranteed to be two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen.
Fine Water Imports Inc., headquartered in Las Vegas, Nevada,
I should have guessed! It’s the global center of water sustainability!
Following, the entire tortured text:
Glacier Bath– The Perfect Balance Between Luxury and Health!
MARINA DEL RAY, CA–(Marketwire – June 4, 2008) – Luxury Water Utilities, LLC, a California-based sustainable water resources service company, in association with Source Glacier Beverage Company, Ltd. and Fine Water Imports, Inc., announces the global launch of the exclusive Glacier Bath™ system — an environmentally friendly hydration service designed to integrate high-end luxury homes, residences and suites with premium glacier water. Locked in an icy vault for over 10,000 years, the sub-Arctic ranges in beautiful British Columbia, Canada, and carefully retrieved from the rapid descending flow of melted glacier ice, this pure protected under-melt is the most natural ancient source of water in the world.
Glacier Bath™ offers luxury connoisseurs the opportunity to control and choose their own water source for their primary hydration needs. We offer a rear water source that is free of contaminants, naturally oxygenated and rich in natural ionic content. Glacier water is superior to common water sources, because it is not filtered through the ground where a variety of dissolved solids and organic particles such as rocks, sand, metals, chemicals and underground pollutants can attach to each water molecule. It is essentially an exclusive worry-free water source — clear of heavy chemicals, drug residues, jet fuel, toxins, dust particulates, etc. — unlocked from glaciers that are over 10,000 years old. Not only will our clients be able to drink and bathe in this premium untainted water, they can also breathe indoor air that is hydrated or humidified with pollution-free water. The water is naturally soft at 1.08 grains of hardness — no water softer needed — and there is no sodium in the water, unlike desalinization which has high sodium contents.
This exclusive water service is for the sophisticated consumer that desires the constant benefits of natural spa living while balancing the demands of corporate and business engagements within metropolitan environments. “It is a privilege to be able to offer our luxury clients around the world, the ability to create an oasis of relaxation and calm in a stressful, toxic world within their very estates,” says Andrea Bates, Vice President of Source Glacier Beverage Company.
Glacier Water, based upon the exclusive 10 Thousand BC™ brand and exclusively marketed by Fine Water Imports, Inc., embodies the essence of a new generation of luxury and elegance. The light, smooth and crisp taste of this premium glacier water can be enjoyed everywhere in your home, penthouse or apartment without a bottle!
Glacier Bath™ represents the nexus between luxury, comfort and peace of mind. Introducing this luxury service as a high-end real-estate amenity offers a personal and private retreat — a 21st Century solution for the health and environmentally conscious. Glacier Bath™ will transport and deliver the purest all-natural water, harnessed from pristine sub-Arctic environments, and supply suites and residences on a subscription basis, at a competitively matchless cost.
Lincoln Wentworth Lawson, Chairman of Luxury Water Utilities, LLC., stated: “We are very pleased to be partnered with Fine Water Imports, Inc. and Source Glacier Beverage Company, Ltd for the past few months. Our team is dedicated and focused on satisfying the needs of our high-end clients interested in a healthy lifestyle, without compromising comfort.”
Mr. Steve Stucker, President of Fine Water Imports Inc., stated: “We firmly believe this is a world first offering of its kind and we see only long-term value for our stakeholders as the world-wide exclusive company to market this rare water resource by both Luxury Water Utilities and Source Glacier Beverage Company.”
Fine Water Imports Inc., headquartered in Las Vegas, Nevada, is one of the world’s largest importers of premium fine waters. Importing only naturally pure, healthy, fine waters from rare water sources from around the world that are guaranteed 100% natural in composition and sourced from locations far away from man-made chemicals and pollutants. These fine waters once discovered are carefully tested, harvested, bottled, and packaged in environmentally friendly, fully recyclable glass and plastic, directly from earth and meet or surpass all federal water safety guidelines. Fine Water Imports Inc. (www.finewaterimports.com) is the exclusive marketing agent for 10 Thousand BC™, bulk water sales, a product of Source Glacier Beverage Company, Ltd., of Canada.