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Dr. Kay Ninewater Solves Twitter Pet-Frets

Important information for dog owners! Editorial Note: Today we’re honored to have Dr. Kay Ninewater, Suburbia’s noted dog hydration expert, to address some of the pressing concerns voiced in the Twitter-verse on what our dogs want and need, water-wise.

First, a comment not from an owner, but directly from the apparently twittering pet:

Luna, apparently you’ve drank just plain old tap water or perhaps a convenient puddle. The Doctor suggests you switch to Pet Sweat, your very own version of the popular Asian brand, Pocari Sweat. Out the door, out the pores, no more on the floor! Let your owner know asap. –Kay

Kelsey, your puppy has a picky palette and you should pop for the premium. Perhaps you are aware of Fortifido bottled water, but did you know it’s also available in a parsley flavor? Water is not only life for your pet, it’s the spice of life! (Break out your wallet and don’t imagine you’ll find it for 50 cents; It’s on sale in this photo.) –Kay

Well, Dan, I’m glad I wasn’t there to watch your poor pet suffering as he desperately struggled to rehydrate with nothing but basic tap water. You’ll need to stock up on PetRefresh, as it’s specially designed to…well, refresh pets. Does your tap water come with this brand promise? No, I didn’t think so. –Kay

Gus, the Doctor doesn’t like your party-pooch attitude. I’ll bet a switch to Dogua will get you back on track, because it provides “essential vitamins, minerals and nutrients for increased strength, endurance and an enhanced mental state of mind.” And, it has natural peanut butter flavoring, too, which will certainly squelch your boredom. (From www.allnaturaldogua.com)
–Kay

Mrs. Cash, wake up, your dog is trying to bond with you! This positive behavior is well documented by dog psychologists and is known as cross-species backwash socialization. Encourage your pet’s natural instincts with a communal drinking vessel like the Cool Pooch. –Kay

Yes, Witch22, man’s best friend can produce life’s worst mouth-odor if you serve him water straight from your tap, which is loaded with god-knows-what sort of smell-inducing impurities. You can keep holding your breath and save a few cents, or you can start serving your blameless companion Dog Whisper, which contains a delightful hint of spearmint. Pee Yew? It’s entirely up to you. –Kay

The Cardinals? And plastic, at that?! Jerry, proper pet care involves teaching socially acceptable behavior as well as providing basic sustenance. If you want your dog to act like a princess rather than a spoiled brat, you should be serving her water (bottled, please!) in a fine lead crystal bowl like this lovely one from Table & Home. (Don’t be put off by the ‘lead,’ it’s not the dangerous kind, it’s the pretty kind!) It is your responsibility to model behavior that’s class, not crass. –Kay

Thanks to these contributing photographers!

Cool Pooch doggy water bottle by paulhinks on Flickr

Fortifido Parsley by jemal on Flickr

Pet Sweat from www.gigglesugar.com

Dog Whisper water from adamrice on Flickr

Bad Bottle #8 and #9: Man and Beast

If you’re feeling a bit guilty enjoying your “Human Water” while hitting your dog’s bowl with the garden hose, break open some “FortiFido” and treat him to the “natural peanut butter flavor” he craves. Per the label, it’s for “the dog you love!” What, don’t you love your dog enough?

Human Water photo from www.engrish.com. FortiFido from adamrice on Flickr (on a page cleverly titled, “its the end of the world as we know it.”