Telepene Water: Gush, Gush, Fizz, Fizz

I hope the gas comes after the gush! From quisnovus on Flickr comes this photo of Telepene, the official water of the Albanian national football team. (Americans: surely you understand by now they mean soccer!)

Suffled how it gush from the woods of Tepelene

You might be surprised to hear that Albania has a football team. Perhaps you’re confusing Albania with the Dilbert outpost of Elbonia. Albania is a tiny Eastern European nation with a rich, conflict-riddled history reaching back to ancient Greece and Rome. Most recently it is an independent free market democracy since communism fell in 1991.

Vols Fan Wants to Give Kiffin Some Crap. Literally.

After just one season as head football coach at the University of Tennessee, the not-well-loved Lane Kiffin cut town for California to become the new head coach of the USC Trojans. Now, it’s backlash time! People around these parts hold a mighty tough grudge and don’t take kindly to a snub against their hometown or their home team.

Knoxville attorney Drew McElroy is raising a stink by spearheading what he sees as a fitting honor to the departed and disgraced coach. He has filed paperwork with the Knoxville City Council’s Public Properties and Facilities Naming Committee to rename a wastewater treatment plant the “Lane Kiffin Sewage Center.”

From a story on news.cincinnaticom,

McElroy said after driving down Neyland Drive and seeing all the history, it hit him. Renaming the Kuwahee Wastewater Treatment Plant would be the best way to let Kiffin know he understands why the coach left.

“It dawned on me – Lane Kiffin told us that he hoped the fans would understand. I thought ‘Well, naming the wastewater plant for him would let him know, I think very clearly, we do understand,’” McElroy, an off-and-on season ticket holder said. “We want to memorialize his stay here, and I think this would be doing it appropriately.”

McElroy personally financed the $262 application fee. He doesn’t think the entire facility needs to be renamed – just a part of it. In fact, he stated that just a cesspool at the facility would be enough to satisfy him. We’ll all have to wait and see, though; the committee meets only a few times per year, and it is not certain when they’ll take up this issue.

Personally? Neat idea, but what an insult to the dedicated and hardworking staff of the Kuwahee Wastewater Treatment Plant! They’ve got to hold their heads up around town, after all!

To no one’s surprise,

Calls to the University of Southern California’s Athletic Department requesting comment from the former Volunteer coach were not returned Tuesday.

Both the University of Tennessee and the Knoxville Utilities Board had no official comment on the proposed name change.

Ducks Cheerleader Should Have Ducked

Will this water-bottle violence never end? (Our rule: Three observances equals a certified trend! Here’s the first and the second!)

In the latest installment of water bottle as weapon, irate University of Arizona football fans hurled polyethylene projectiles onto the field in a November 21st post-game bottle-throwing incident that sent an Oregon cheerleader to to the hospital.

Next time, remember, D-E-F-E-N-S-E after the game, too! The normally-cheerful gal lost consciousness after being struck by a full water bottle and was treated and released from the University Medical Center in Tucson.

Oregon senior associate athletic director Joe Giansante commented,

“As the team was coming in, they were getting bombarded with water bottles, batteries, and various other items coming out of the stands,” Giansante said. “We were yelling at everybody to keep their heads up, but one got through and hit Katelynn in the head. All the kids (on the cheerleading team) are scared, but hopefully she’ll be OK.”