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Aussies + Fish = Funny

Two recent items prove the equation true!

First, it was raining fish from the sky! Twice! Read all about the ultimate fish story from the territorial town of Lajamanuat via ntnews.com.au and don’t miss the memorable first-person account in the story:

Mrs Balmer, the aged care co-ordinator at the Lajamanu Aged Care Centre, said her family interstate thought she had lost the plot when she told them about the event.

“I haven’t lost my marbles,” she said, reassuring herself. “Thank god it didn’t rain crocodiles.”

And there’s hard proof that Mrs. Balmer hasn’t lost her marbles: she had enough of her wits about her to snap the following photo of some of the fish collected in a bucket!

The second item again involves fish showing up in an unexpected spot. In the inland community of Mutchilba, Tony Bambino nabbed the catch of the day by grabbing a 30kg barra from an irrigation channel with his bare hands!

While driving home he spotted the huge fish swimming in the Sunwater irrigation channel.

“It was about 4pm in the arvo and I saw something shiny in the water,” he said. “Once I realised what it was, I grabbed it by the mouth with my hands. It took about 10-15 minutes to catch it and the hardest part was pulling it out of the channel and into the back of my ute.”

The story at Cairns.com.au notes that “Mr Bambino said the irony of his large catch was that people spend thousands of dollars on fishing rods and lures and he managed to bag one driving along the channel.”

And there a photo! (Jennifer Eliot, Cairns.com.au) Good thing, or we’d all think he’d lost the plot!

Water Joke: Go Fish With The Blondes

Three blondes were sitting on a riverbank patiently holding their fishing poles with the lines in the water when the game warden came up behind them, and said “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”

“We don’t have any.” replied the first blonde

“Well, if you’re going to fish here, you need fishing licenses.”

“But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines because we’re trying to find jewelry and valuables in the river bottom!”

The warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were magnets tied on the end of each line. “Well, I don’t know of any law against it,” said the warden. “You can take whatever you find.” And with that, he left.

As soon as he was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. “What a dumb cop!” the second blonde said to the other two, “doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?!

WTF: New Water Trivial Features Update

MOM ARMED WITH A WATER BOTTLE SAVES SON FROM ATTACKING COUGAR

A 5 year old British Columbia boy is recovering after a cougar attacked him on a family hike at Colville National Forest. As his father Mark Impey recounted, he heard his wife and son’s screams, ran to check and

…he saw that a big cat had his son, Simon, by the head and his wife, Dawn, was trying furiously to fend the animal off with a metal water bottle.

“I really think it was a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Impey said in an interview.

Dawn’s repeated blows with the water bottle finally forced the cougar to retreat into the bush.

WTF footnote: Just try that with some flimsy, disposable bottle. You couldn’t fight off a house cat with your Dasani.

Read the full story at www.chandlerswatch.com

PEE MINUS 5 SECONDS AND COUNTING

On Wednesday evening, Sept. 10th, sky watchers across North America watched in curious awe as the space shuttle Discovery glided silently overhead, sprouting a flamboyant comet-like tail.

In Madison, Wisconsin, photographer Abe Megahed witnessed a similar display: “The shuttle was sporting a massive curved plume. What could it be? Something venting? Reaction Control System thrusters? A massive, record-breaking urine dump?”

It was in fact, his last guess. The shuttle, while docked with the International Space Station, sprayed about 150 pounds of waste water and pee-pee out into space on September 10. Shuttle pilot Kevin Ford was scheduled to carry out a number of “waste water” dumps around the time these observations were noted. Pristine water supplies and condensates were also dumped overboard in preparation for landing on Thursday, Sept. 10th.

WTF footnote: Do the astronauts eat tomatos? If so, someone should research whether this could cause tomatos to grow on the moon.

Read more and see photos of the zero-gravity sewage here at www.jimonlight.com.

SWEET AUSSIE TEENS HOOK DIRTY BAG OF CASH

Australian police said two teenage brothers reeled in a plastic bag stuffed with $86,000 while fishing for catfish in Tuntable Creek, near the town of Lismore.

The boys spent three weeks deciding on a plan of action before telling their mother and obtaining legal advice on how best to turn over the cash, The Times of London reported.  Mama knows best! From UPI.com,

The mother of the boys, who requested anonymity, said the family did not want to keep the money because it might be “dirty.”

“We just don’t want any trouble,” one of the brothers said. “We were sweet before the money and we’ll be sweet afterwards.”

WTF footnote: An estimated two-thirds of media comments by teen boys include the phrase  “We don’t want any trouble.”