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Aquamantra Gets Its Groove Back

Remember Aquamantra, that deeply spiritual fluid that “resonates with the energy and frequency of your well-being?” That karma-in-a-bottle where “the quality of your thoughts determine the quality of your life and NOW your water?” From the company whose “purpose in creating this water is to Raise Consciousness in Humanity One Sip at a Time?”

I’m feeling better just writing that, but the negative energy emanating from that politically-incorrect plastic encasement is ruining the good vibe, so Aquamantra will be introducing their recyclable, biodegradable bottle this summer. It’s from “Phoenix, Arizona-based ENSO Bottles, LLC, which had developed a form of polyethylene terephthalate (PET) that appeared to be both recyclable and biodegradable within 1-5 years in microbial landfills, in either aerobic or anaerobic conditions.”

Ah, energy waves over me as a new mantra emerges, please repeat with me: I am profitable. I am profitable. I am profitable.

(For students of flackery: the glowing press release is here.)