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its so dry drought flag of california

Drought Jokes: “It’s So Dry…” California Edition!

its so dry drought flag of californiaCalifornia is facing its worst water shortage in decades. This is somewhat funny, both “curious-funny” and “ha-ha funny” because the state’s severest drought in modern history gives us an excuse to unleash some lame Cali-focused “It’s so dry…” jokes.

California’s so dry…that leaks are the new status symbol.

California’s so dry…the fastest growing crime is employee theft… by pool boys.

California’s so dry…a sprinkler store opened on Rodeo Drive (and have you seen those Prada canteens?!) Read more

What’s a Fountain Without Water?

That’s the subject of a personal photo project I’ve been working on this past month. In Kansas City, Missouri (the urban counterpart to my suburban Shangri-la) 47 public fountains will be turned on April 6th, the city’s annual “Fountain Day.”

kansas city mo dry muse of missouri fountain

In Kansas City, MO: The Muse of Missouri, dry.

In 2009, severe budget problems drove city officials to threaten that that the fountains would remain dry due to lack of funds. Political grandstanding, maybe, but the citizenry greeted the proposal harshly and vocally. This year there were no such attacks on the fountains, although other basic city services will see budget cuts and/or rate increases (including water).

What’s a fountain without water? It’s not like a wallet without money; it’s more like a soul without joy.

(If you can’t view the slideshow below (Internet Explorer users, probably talkin’ about YOU) visit the full set on my Flickr page.)


Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

Water and Drought Jokes: How Dry is It?

Drought Turning Texas Dry as Toast: Yesterday I saw this headline on MSNBC (via WaterSISWeb) so that’s my cue to dig up my collection of “It’s so dry…” jokes.

So dry the birds are building their nests out of barbed wire.
So dry the Baptists are sprinkling and Methodists are spitting
It’s so dry that the Catholics are giving rain checks.
So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.
So dry the trees are bribing the dogs. (variation: It’s so dry that the trees are whistlin’ for the dogs.)
Its so dry here that the fire hydrants are chasing the dogs around.
So dry my duck don’t know how to swim.
It’s been dry so long we only got a quarter inch of rain during Noah’s Flood.
So dry I’m spitting cotton.
Dry as a powder house.
Dry as the heart of a haystack.
Dryer than a popcorn fart.
It’s so dry that the cows are giving evaporated milk. (variation: So dry the cows are giving powdered milk.)
It’s so dry the fish are knocking on the door, askin’ for a drink of water.
It’s so dry here the all the fish have ticks.
It’s so dry the Red Cross has launched a wet blanket appeal.
It’s so dry you’re only permitted to eat watermelon between 8pm and 8am.
It’s so dry the government has announced a water pistol buy back scheme.
It’s so dry, crooks are siphoning off radiators instead of gas tanks.
It’s so dry, they’re encouraging people to pee in the pool.
It’s so dry, all the Baptists are converting to Catholic.
It’s so dry, the the dogs are marking their territory with chalk lines.
It’s so dry they’ve had to close two lanes at the swimming pool.
It’s so dry the river only runs twice a week.

All new, original! A few more I thought of while writing this post:

So dry we’re fishin’ on lawn chairs with slingshots.
It’s so dry we went rafting on hand trucks.
So dry the water tower was held up at gunpoint.

Sources: collected from all over, including here, here, here, herehere and here!