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Clueless American Football Brutes Chug Crystal Geyser

World Cup fever is everywhere, and excitement for this international marketing sports event is exploding… even in the USA where many don’t “get” the game itself or why it’s “erroneously” refered to as football. What a prime opportunity for non-US marketers to poke a little fun, as in this Hong Kong-produced ad for Crystal Geyser, “Wrong sport, right water.” (Notice the scoreboard: USA vs. Europe!? I think I missed that match!)

Grandeur in the Ocean Garbage Patch

This new awareness advert from Rise Above Plastics combines the ick factor of the ocean garbage patch with the majesty of a giant whale with predictably repugnant results. (From their website, we learn that “In some places of the Pacific Ocean, the amount of plastic suspended in the water outnumbers plankton six to one.”)


Two other items on the Rise Above Plastics website that make us say, “Hey, that’s neat!”…
Above, this rapidly escalating-counter shows, in our face and in real time, the runaway rubbish rate for plastic water bottles.
Below, the site alos includes this photo of plastic shopping bags masquerading as jellyfish, which reminds us of this “Dangerous Species” poster as well as the much-loved-by-me Ariston washer ad.

A Water Symphony Sings for Skoda

For all the irritation wrought by boorish, intrusive advertising, let’s remember: occasionally advertising offers us some rare, aesthetic delight that stops us in our tracks.

Such is the case with this ad for Czech auto manufacturer Škoda featuring experimental Czech musician Petr Spatina. He is seen playing 597 water-filled Schott Zwiesel crystal wine glasses… arranged in the shape of a car! You might assume that since this is a lowly advert there’s bound to be trickery or illusion involved. But there isn’t. The sweet melody is real and authentic.


See more at Petr Spatina’s website goodwatermusic.com.

Retro Water Advertising Film Fest Part 2

Part Two: And now, a word from our water sponsors from decades past! We’ve been interrupted by advertising for drinking water for at least a half a century. Following, more of of “the way we were.”

Brita Filter Ad from 1989 using the then-relevant “Funny British Guy” marketing tactic.

1986 Soviet dance party featuring Michael Jackson’s “Killer” and Varska Mineral Water.

Combine the 1986 coolness of Flashdance and Pumping Iron, then add Evian water.

“Nothing else will do” but Perrier in this jazzy, stylish-in-’87 animated spot.

Hey, Culligan Man, It’s 1984 and “the future is calling for you!” Little did we know!

Retro Water Advertising Film Fest, Part 1

And now, a word from our water sponsors from decades past! We’ve been interrupted by advertising for drinking water for at least a half a century. Following, a taste of “the way we were.”

1958 Perrier Party, the only thing missing is the Rat Pack and Vegas imagery.

Technically for Hamms Beer, but includes a “rain dance” for the beer that’s “refreshing as the land of sky blue water.” (1950s-vintage)

1978 Arrowhead Water tastes like “mountain snow, not chlorine!”

Those naughty French marketers! Perrier’s hysterical, risque 80’s spot promoting their larger bottle.

Bo Derrick look-alike and hipsters on the tennis court for Perrier in ’82

Riches, Chicks, Eternal Life…I’m on a Boat!

Owning a boat from Water Werks will make you a real man! (Some restrictions apply.) Yes, this is a real ad and not a parody. If humor sells, this Illinois boat dealer should brace for a flood of new business. The hilarious commercial revels in it’s krazy, low-brow, bad-production-value approach… and succeeds gloriously.

And it reminds me, in broad concept anyway, of this infectious Saturday Night Live clip, “I’m on a Boat.” (Warning: contains a boat-load of explicit lyrics.)
I’m on a Boat (feat. T-Pain).

How to Trap Children in the Dark and Lonely Water

Somehow, fear as a motivator has fallen out of favor. Back in the day, though, scaring the tar out of kids was a perfectly acceptable method for keeping them in check. This 70s-era water safety clip from the UK was designed to educate by terror, with a creepy grim-reaper type character lurking in the waterways, ready to “trap showoffs and fools.” I’ll bet this put a damper on waterside playtime for the young Brits of the time!”